Some men have a hard time talking to women.
They have such a hard time figuring out what to say to women that some pine for the caveman days where courtship involved beating a woman over the head and dragging her to your cave.
A lot of men look forward to the stage in a relationship with a woman where they can just have sex because they assume that having sex is a great way of expressing their feelings without actually having to say any of them out loud.
They could not be more incorrect.
Most men in relationships with women will quickly learn that what to say to a woman in bed during sex is, in many cases, even more important about what to say to her to get her INTO your bed. And it's about a lot more than just dirty talk.
What to say to a woman in bed during sex can make or break the mood and in worst case scenarios, maybe even end the relationship.
But don't sweat it, we got you, boo.
Here are 16 things to say to her when the question of what to say to a woman in bed won't get out of your head (hey, that rhymed).
1. "I love you"
For the woman who needs a commitment.
2. "I love fucking you."
For the woman who absolutely doesn't.
3. "You're so hot."
Who doesn't love the odd ego boost?
4. "Close your eyes."
Whatever's going to happen next will be sexy as hell.
5. "I'm going to destroy your cervix"
Look, different strokes for different folks, okay?
6. "I can't believe I'm this lucky."
Sometimes these sweet, earnest declarations are the best.
7. "Let me do all the work."
8. "Can I go down on you?"
Literally dudes, you never need to ask us if we want oral sex. Because we do.
See? Sometimes the best dirty talk ends with a question mark.
9. "When we're done I'm making you cookies."
Please check to make sure you aren't just having sex with a very hot and attentive sex robot.
10. "You drive me crazy, but not in a Britney Spears way."
11. "You feel amazing."
Verily, your vagina is a wonderland.
12. "Being inside you feels like being home."
That's some Grade A Nicholas Sparks type shit right there!
13. "Your stomach is so flat!"
Clearly, he wants something.
14. "If Rihanna and Christina Hendricks had a sexy baby it would be you."
Weird that he would have sex with a sexy imaginary baby, but the sentiment is sweet.
15. "It's okay, you can just sleep."
Because let's be real. Sex is great, but sleeping is AMAZING.
16. "You're so tight."
Because nobody wants a vagina that a man describes as "throwing a hotdog down a hallway".