Face it, there's a good chance your man looks at porn. But what is it doing to your relationship?
By Caitlyn Hitt — Written on Jul 02, 2012
Feminists have argued for decades that porn teaches men to view women as sex objects and devalues the act of having sex. But did you know it causes mental and physical side effects that could hurt your relationship? In fact, just today, there was news about a guy who complained to his doctor about "exploding headaches" when he watched porn. That case may be a bit extreme, but still ...
"In a 20,000-person study recently conducted by TED.com, porn is the most prevalently cited obstacle for romantic relationships between men and women in their teens and 20s. Women say guys are emotionally unavailable, and men say porn makes them less interested in pursuing a relationship," says Jim Wysong, author of The Neutering of the American Male.
Men turn to pornography when their desires are not being met in a relationship. That's right, ladies. As much as men have been playing it off like it's us who are needy in relationships, they are just as guilty — they just go online to get their needs fulfilled. "We all have a need to feel significant, to be accepted and loved, but those issues prevent some males from developing fulfilling relationships," Wysong says. "Sexual intimacy is typically a byproduct of emotional intimacy. Unfortunately, when people don't have a fulfilling relationship, their sexual desires don't disappear."
Since men tend to be more visual and physical, they use pornography to meet short-term needs. This often becomes a cycle and can lead to porn addiction and emotional detachment in relationships. "Pornography addiction makes it extremely difficult to achieve the balanced, loving relationship that would meet their emotional needs," Wysong says.
Proving these points, a Canadian study has found that one-third of teenage boys there are "heavy porn users," and an Italian study showed that a large percentage of men there suffer from "sexual anorexia," a temporary impotence, in their 20s because they spent their teens watching porn, and now their expectations are twisted.
Ladies, we're not suggesting you go all 007 and start snooping through your man's browsing history and calling him a porn addict, but if you've noticed a change in his behavior, approach him about it. Parents, as for you, it's time to step out of the Dark Ages and embrace the facts. Your kids are going to find out what sex is one way or another, so why not beat them to the punch and provide them with truthful facts and information.
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