'When I Named My Babies I Named Adults' — Mom Can't Stand Unique Baby Names That Are Unsuitable For Grown Ups
One day your kid is going to have to go through school with a name like "Whiskey," she warns.
Many of us want to make a unique mark in the world when it comes to naming our youngsters, from reviving "old lady" names to using all kinds of odd alternative spellings.
But sometimes it seems like this trend has gotten a little out of control. After all, when made-up names and alternative spellings become a meme that spawns Halloween costumes? Well, that's when you know a thing has jumped the shark.
And that's before we even get into celebrities like Gwyneth Paltrow who named her daughter Apple, or actor Jason Lee, who named his son after... well, whatever a Pilot Inspektor is. And we won't even get into little baby X Æ A-Xii Musk, Elon Musk and Grimes' child.
If you've had enough of this trend, you're not alone—one mom on TikTok has had it with all these new-fangled baby names, and she's gone viral for her hot take on the matter.
TikToker Nikki Ruble says she can't stand unique baby names.
Ruble has gone with more classic options for her own kids, like Delilah—certainly not a common name by any stretch of the imagination. But Ruble says the distinction is that most of us can picture an adult being named Delilah, and that's what parents should be focusing on.
Ruble says parents should name their babies as if they're naming adults, and use nicknames for them while they're babies.
For one of her other babies, Ruble chose the name Rosalie—a moniker similarly easy to imagine fitting an adult.
"When I named my children, I named adults, not babies, because they're going to be adults for most of their lives," she says.
But who wants a baby named Paula or Diane? You can't snuggle a Diane! Playing "peek-a-boo" with a Sheldon? Come on. Ruble has a solution for this, however—this, she says, is where nicknames come in.
"Delilah is a beautiful name," she says, "but that's a grown woman! ... My child is four months old, so her name is Delly Belly, and that's final." Similarly, Rosalie has a litany of nicknames, from the obvious, like Rosie, to the more unique like Rosie Posie and Posie Toesie. Okay then.
Some people pushed back on Ruble's claim since perceptions of names change over time.
"But in the future 2020s baby names are gonna be adult names though," a commenter astutely countered. After all, every Ethel and Barney we've ever known was once—somehow—Baby Ethel and Baby Barney, right?
Sure, of course. But as you've no doubt noticed if you spend any time online, people aren't just naming their babies old-fashioned monikers anymore. They're going more the Pilot Inspektor route. Or like "Whiskey," in the case of a baby Ruble knows.
"I once met a little boy named Whiskey," Ruble said. "Whiskey. That will never be an adult name." Hard to argue with that. It will always be, you know... the name of whiskey.
Of course, a baby named Whiskey can always grow up and go to the local courthouse and become an adult named, like, Jerry or whatever, but Ruble wonders what Whiskey-cum-Jerry is supposed to for the first 18 years of his life. After all, in the meantime, "he's got to go to school with the name 'Whiskey'," as she put it.
And she's not wrong. As the video below lays out, names shape us psychologically and socially in all sorts of ways that we don't even recognize.
Turns out there really is something in a name.
Plenty of people on TikTok agreed with the mom, and many had odd baby names of their own to share.
Of course, no discussion of unique baby names would be complete without mentioning pop musician and YouTuber Trish Paytas, who recently named her baby Malibu Barbie. "I don't even want to talk about that one," Ruble commented in response to a fellow TikToker who cited Paytas' bundle of Barbie-rific joy.
"I swear people name their babies like they're naming a dog," another commenter wrote. Others commented on oddly named people they knew in their lives, like babies named Hennessey, Stryker and even Shelter. "They’re really just picking random words at this point," Ruble wrote in response.
Still, not everyone was on Ruble's side. One person stitched Ruble's video derisively claiming they named their kids "Meemaw and Peepaw" because one day they'll be grandparents.
"I don't think it's THAT bad," another person wrote in regards to the name Whiskey. "Better than being the 90th Henry in class."
And some couldn't help but call out Ruble's own off-the-beaten-path baby names. "I just saw that you named your kid DELILAH though?" one person wrote. "I've literally only met dogs named Delilah. That's a 'I'm 13 and writing my first novel' name." You have to admit, the guy's got a point.
In the end, with all the mom-shaming going on nowadays, we should probably just let people name their kids whatever they want. So fly free, little Ashleyïœnnê (pronounced "Ashlin"), and wear your name proudly.
John Sundholm is a news and entertainment writer who covers pop culture, social justice and human interest topics.