Woman Reveals How Mother-In-Law 'Ruined' The Birth Of Her First Child By Taking Photos In The Delivery Room & Sending Them To Family
A mother's boundaries should always be respected during such a vulnerable moment like childbirth.
The birth of a child is a moment that parents want to remember and treasure forever. It should be a special and intimate moment between to two parents of the child. However, some family members believe they should also be involved in the process and find a way to make themselves present in the delivery room, even if it is against the mother’s wishes.
One woman shared how her mother-in-law wormed her way into the delivery room while she was giving birth to her first child. The woman claims that her mother-in-law’s actions “ruined” her birth experience, which still sticks with her eight years later.
Bramty Juliette, a well-known social media influencer and mother of three, revealed the unpleasant experience on an episode of her podcast, BRAMTEA, which she co-hosts with her husband, Luis Espina.
Bramty's mother-in-law took photos without her consent in the delivery room during the birth of her first child.
When she was 19 years old, she was pregnant with their first daughter, Penelope. When she was planning her birth, Bramty only wanted Luis and her own mother to be in the delivery room with her.
However, Luis wanted his own mother to be part of the experience as well and insisted she be there. “I was like, ‘I don’t want your mom in the room. I only want you and my mom in the room like for emotional support,” Bramty says.
Although she was uncomfortable with the idea, she eventually allowed her mother-in-law to be there since it was important to her husband.
Bramty claims that at the time, Luis did not understand that the birth of his child was not about his wishes, but the one who was giving birth to his child. “When you give birth, it’s about the wife, it’s about the mom,” she says. “She’s the only one giving birth. She’s the one going through things physically and mentally. Whatever she's comfortable with is most important.” Luis has since educated himself and now understands respecting the boundaries of the mother during childbirth.
When the time came and Bramty’s water broke, she rushed to the hospital with Luis, her mother, her mother-in-law, her brother-in-law, and Luis’ aunt whom she never met before all in the delivery room with her. Luis says that his family is Cuban and being involved in intimate family moments is important to them.
At the time, Bramty was more focused on getting through her contractions than on the number of people in the room. However, looking back she wishes that Luis “had her back” more than he did and kicked everyone out of the room during an extremely vulnerable moment for her. “But you didn’t have that mentality, you had your mom’s back most of the time,” Bramty says to her husband.
While Bramty was obviously uncomfortable by her mother-in-law’s presence in the delivery room, she made matters even worse for her while she was giving birth. “I remember your mom and your aunt taking pictures of my vagina while I was pushing,” Bramty claims. “Then later find out that your aunt had sent those pictures to family members.”
Social media users erupted upon hearing about Bramty’s mother-in-law and aunt’s inexcusable actions.
“I would have lost my mind,” one TikTok user commented. “That’s sound so traumatizing. I’m so sorry you had to go through that as your first labor experience,” another user wrote.
“My soul left my body when you said they sent those pictures around …. that is so unacceptable,” another user added.
Others criticized Luis for refusing to respect his wife’s boundaries during such an intimate moment. “Respectfully, I would’ve left Luis. I don’t think I could forgive my husband if he didn’t have my back. I’m so sorry you had to go through that Bramty,” one user shared.
“I love Luis now, but lowkey HE ruined your birthing experience by not setting boundaries with his mom out of respect for his wife,” another user commented.
Sending or sharing explicit or intimate photos of someone without their consent is a serious violation of their privacy and can have significant legal and personal consequences. Others encouraged Bramty to go to the police since her mother-in-law sent the photos to other people without her consent.
However, Bramty shares that she has a good relationship with her mother-in-law now despite the incident, and she appears to have forgiven both her and her husband.
Respecting a mother's boundaries during childbirth acknowledges her rights, promotes her emotional well-being, empowers her to make informed decisions, enhances trust, and contributes to a positive birth experience. It is important for healthcare providers, partners, and support persons to listen to and honor her wishes, providing a supportive and respectful environment during this transformative journey.
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.