To All The Girls Looking For Love, Please Never Settle
Most of us have a clear idea of what we want from a significant other.
pixabay via Canva By Natalie Trznadel
In the modern world, we see relationships everywhere. From celebrity couples’ paparazzi photos to your friends’ engagement announcements on Instagram, you’ve definitely spotted some sort of showcase of romance.
All of these couples always look so in love. They look into each other’s eyes as if there’s nothing but them on this planet. They post romantic quotes and profess their love for one another in long posts, affirming their perfect relationship.
Generally, most of us simply scroll through these posts without giving them a second thought. Sometimes, we may give it a "like" but nothing more.
But on those rare occasions when we’re already overwhelmed with life, these showcases of love can make us feel like we’re missing out on something.
Most of us have a clear idea of what we want from a significant other.
Some of us want kids and a house with a cute fence. Others want a partner who’s as ambitious as they are so they can achieve their goals together. Some people even have a list with all the qualities they want in a partner, such as loyalty, communication, trust, and a good sense of humor.
But the more dates we end up going on, the less we feel like we will actually find what we’re looking for. So, we consider something that used to seem unimaginable to us: lowering our standards.
But I’m here to tell you that settling for less than you deserve isn’t the way to find love.
Yes, being single is lonely when seemingly everyone around you is in happy, loving relationships. But just because you haven’t found "the one" doesn’t mean you should compromise on the most important aspects of the relationship.
Here’s the thing I need everyone to know: you deserve everything you want in a romantic relationship.
If you want someone who will dance wildly while making breakfast with you, that’s what you should have. If you want someone who communicates their feelings without making you feel like you should "already know," you definitely deserve that. And if you want to be with someone who shares your life goals, you should never give up on that.
If you settle for something you don’t deserve, you will never be happy.
To settle, you need to let go of something that’s important to you. Something that you’re sure you can’t live without. But if you lower your expectations, that thing no longer seems to matter.
After all, you’ve been single for so long that you convince yourself your standards may be too high. But this couldn’t be further from the truth.
Of course, there are some things you may need to compromise on in a healthy, long-term relationship. But it’s important to recognize the difference between compromising and lowering your standards.
Compromising means agreeing to meet your partner in the middle. It’s about reaching a common ground that will help your relationship flourish. What it doesn’t mean is allowing someone else to convince you that you deserve less than you’re looking for.
So, to all the girls looking for love and worrying that they won’t find it, don’t settle.
Don’t agree to something that won’t bring you happiness in the long run. Don’t listen to society’s pressures convincing you that you need to be married or have kids by a certain age. And, most definitely, don’t lose sight of how amazing your life could be if you just wait to find someone special who’s a perfect match for you.
While it might be hard and lonely, hold on and don’t settle. You will find the right person, one who doesn’t make you sacrifice any part of yourself to meet their needs.
And that’s something worth waiting for.
Natalie Trznadel is a photographer, traveler, and writer and editor for Unwritten. Her work has appeared on Thought Catalog, Unwritten, and YourTango, focusing on lifestyle and relationship topics.