The 9 Golden Indicators You're In The Right Relationship, According To Psychology
Is this relationship going to work out, or are you doomed to fail?
pocstock | Canva As a marriage and family therapist, I hear the question "Is he or she the right one for me?" all the time. And now — when there are more single people than there have ever been and there seems to be more betrayal than ever — people have a hard time trusting that they will pick the right person to love.
Here are the 9 golden indicators you're in the right relationship, according to psychology:
1. The thought of commitment doesn't scare you
If you aren't afraid to commit and show your vulnerability to the person you're with (and you know they feel the same way), you may have something really good brewing. If you're fearing commitment, it's best to work that out before starting a relationship.
2. You don't feel the need to snoop through their things
If you trust your partner, you won't be looking through their things. Going through their email, phone, Facebook account or journals strongly indicates you're lack of trust.
Plus, it's also killing their ability to trust you in return. If you find yourself doing this, it may be time to re-evaluate your situation. Research from the National Library of Medicine shows that a lack of trust in a relationship can significantly damage its quality, leading to increased conflict, and negative emotions, and increases the chances of a breakup.
3. You consider yourself equal to your partner
Make sure you're feeling like you're on equal ground with them. You know what matters to you in a mate — morally, intellectually, financially, socially, or professionally — and if you're not satisfied with what they bring to the table, it's time to rethink.
Yuri A / Shutterstock
4. You don't let any substance get between you
Anyone abusing a substance or behavior is cheating on you with his or her drug of choice. If you're in this situation, you deserve more (or if it's you, they deserve more). Ensure you're dedicated to them — mind, body, soul.
5. You don't depend on each other in an unhealthy way
If you're looking for your partner to resolve your emotional issues, make you more responsible or successful, support you financially, and expand your group of friends or family, then it's possible you shouldn't be in a relationship, or at least not yet.
A healthy relationship consists of two individuals bringing equal things to the table. Being codependent on another person can lead to low self-esteem, depression and anxiety, and even destructive behaviors, research says.
6. You're ready to put it all on the line
If you're not risking having your heart broken, you're not doing it right. If you find that you're ready to give all of yourself to them, you may be ready to take things to the next level.
Yuri A / Shutterstock
7. You talk about everything
All the things you're not supposed to talk about on a first date — religion, money, politics, and children — are the things you should be discussing with someone you're serious about. So make sure you're comfortable discussing things on all levels.
8. You go out of your way to do something romantic
You send the flowers, request the song, write the note, and have the bracelet engraved. You call your partner and tell them that specific thing they did this morning that you loved, and this made you fall more in love. If you're constantly showing them how much you care, then you know you're in the right place.
9. You're honest with each other
You know you can't hide your flaws for long, so don't try. You know that you're going to mess up and that you will need to apologize and forgive — an endless number of times.
Recognize that you signed up for all of this and that you're ready to dedicate yourself to this relationship. We all want to be in a relationship — it's part of being human.
Some who've been hurt in the past are scared of making another mistake but remember that many relationships go through highs and lows. Learning how to get through difficult times will strengthen your bond.
Lianne Avila is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist. She is dedicated to helping couples and has completed Levels 1, 2, and 3 at The Gottman Institute.