22 Ways Couples Can Overcome Infidelity

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22 Ways Couples Can Overcome Infidelity [EXPERT]
Learn how your relationship can pass even the toughest test.

When someone you love betrays your trust, it can feel like an insurmountable hurdle. Our experts beg to differ. With a little TLC, it's completely possible for your relationship to survive infidelity. Here's how:

1. Practice gratitude. No matter what happened, returning to gratitude will set the groundwork for positive transformation. If you feel consumed by betrayal and despair, take a moment to focus on appreciation. Think about everything you appreciate about your mate. After a few minutes of refocusing in this way, notice what changes inside you. —Laurie Moore

2. Fully face your feelings. When you are hurt, you may tend to blame, run, fight, judge or explain. If you can stop and fully feel the heartache tenderly, you will be surprised at what is possible. When you step fully into the sensation in your heart, beyond thought and explanation, the feeling begins to shift. Note: If you are suffering from a mental illness or severe emotional disturbance, use this practice only with the facilitation of a licensed therapist.Laurie Moore

3. Clarify your purpose. When hurt, you may tend to think about the problem. Recycling the problem can escalate the pain. If you can focus on the solution you seek, you will naturally head toward answers.  —Laurie Moore

4. Develop a deeper level of emotional intimacy in the relationship. Infidelity is almost never about sex. Rather, it is about intimacy and unmet needs. To recover or heal a relationship following infidelity, you must learn how to become more emotionally intimate. This emotional intimacy comes from spending time together, communicating and sharing your lives together. In other words, you must take a risk and be vulnerable. Give your partner a chance to draw close to you. —Michael Howard

5. Do things together. Couples that spend time together and have shared interests recover from infidelity much more quickly and effectively. Discover or rediscover things that you can do together that you both enjoy. Keep in mind that not all hobbies or activities are expensive; there are plenty of things you can do together that do not cost money. —Michael Howard

More advice on infidelity from YourTango:

Article contributed by
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Teresa Maples

Counselor/Therapist

Teresa Maples MS, LMHC, CSAT, CMAT

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Specialties: Couples/Marital Issues, Infidelity / Affair Recovery, Sex Addiction
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