5 Warning Signs Of An Abusive Relationship


chris brown
Would you know an abuser if you saw one?

Known abuser Chris Brown is making headlines again this week for his violent ways. But did you know there are definite personality traits that are typical of a man who abuses? While not every abuser falls under this profile, here are five typical warning signs that the guy you're with doesn't have your best interests at heart:

1. He starts out fun, exciting, and charasmatic. This guy will zoom into your life at mach one speed. He will sweep you off your feet. You won't have any thoughts but intense levels of romance, love and adventure. He will probably be on the top of the list of any other date you've ever been on. He is first class in his choices, and even though you may have told him "no" at first, he will never, ever take your "no" as an answer.

2. You feel safe and protected at first. You will think you are with a knight that has ten layers of shining armor. There is no dragon that he won't slay for you. He "zeros in" on you and promises that you are the one for him, possibly within a few days or weeks of meeting. 

3. You begin to notice slight changes in his personality. Once you buy into his message, you might start noticing subtle lies or stories that just don't add up. He begins to show signs of anger at the slightest provocation. You will especially notice this when he is behind the wheel of his car. He is nasty there and expresses that others mistakes are a personally directed to him.

4. He begins to demand all of your attention. He needs you to be available when he wants you, yet might abandon you when you really need him. He begins to make fun of you, calls you names or inflicts little digs in the form of hostile humor. You begin to feel awkward andn controlled around him. He might threaten to withdraw from you if you don't comply to his wishes.

5. He takes no responsibility for his actions. He blames others, things, circumstance and especially you for his behavior and circumstances. He may give you wonderful gifts but there are always strings attached. He starts isolating you from your friends and family. Keep reading ...

More abusive relationship advice from YourTango:

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Trudy Johnson


Trudy M. Johnson, M.A., LMFT, CSPII

Helping women process grief after voluntary pregnancy termination without fear.

Bringing abortion after-care into the 21st century by educating professionals.


Location: Buena Vista, CO
Credentials: LMFT, MA, Non-Profit
Specialties: Abortion Issues
Other Articles/News by Trudy Johnson:

"I Had No Clue I'd Be This Sad," Part 2


Last week I talked with a 20-something woman about the grief she was feeling after her voluntary pregnancy termination. In her quest to find relief for her situation, she never dreamed she would be struck with an overwhelming sadness that she couldn't shake. Only a little less shocking than the news of the pregnancy (she was on birth control pills) was ... Read more

"I Had No Clue I'd Be This Sad"


The voice on the other end of the line was hesitant. I could tell this was a woman who wasn't sure she could trust her own instincts, much less trust me. I tried to re-assure her that I am a safe person to talk with about unexpected grief after voluntarily terminating a pregnancy. As we talked, I realized how many times I'd heard this ... Read more

Had An Abortion? 4 Tips For Surviving Mother’s Day


For women who once made the decision to terminate a pregnancy, Mother's Day can be an emotional and difficult day. Particularly, if you never told those closest to you about your abortion. In such cases, you may feel like you have no one to talk to about your sadness because you are afraid of condemnation. Despite the fact that an abortion can weigh ... Read more

See More

Latest Expert Videos
Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Most Popular