The Do's And Don'ts Of Getting Her Back

Love, Heartbreak

Want your ex back? Hope you enjoy the taste of some humble pie.

Knowing what to say to get your ex-girlfriend back can be a daunting task, like knowing what to say during an interview for your dream job. You just sort of fumble through, sometimes knowing as a word leaves your mouth that it is only doing damage. This is nerve-wracking for a few reasons; you may not know what to say to get your ex-girlfriend back, and you may be extraordinarily nervous. Often, it's akin to shooting a half court shot to win $10,000; you only get one chance, and you know it. But as difficult as the whole reconciliation process may indeed be, knowing what to say to get your ex-girlfriend back is actually the easy part. It all comes down to do's and don'ts.

What to Say to Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back: The Don’ts
Sometimes, what you don't say speaks louder than what you do. So as you attempt to get back your ex, don't say any of the following.

  • "It was both our faults.": Yes, odds are that the relationship's failure was a joint effort, but if you're the one trying to reconcile, you're the one who must own up to your mistakes. Pointing out that it took two to tango will merely put your ex on the De Fence (a wooden fence they sit upon, seething and rolling their eyes at your words).
  • "I can change.": This statement can be a bit tricky, but it tends to be something you shouldn't say for two reasons. First of all, it's likely that your ex has heard it before — you may have promised to change with the regularity of a dental visit, offering empty promises every six months. Second of all, words have little power in the reconciliation game; don't tell her you can change, show her that you have.
  • "You'll regret not giving me another chance.": This is another phrase that is rarely included on the what to say to your ex-girlfriend list. For one thing, it can appear to be threatening, especially if you say it in anger. And, it can also anger your ex, basically causing you to come across as God's gift to her. This is not usually looked upon favorably. When you want to reconcile, you have to swallow your pride and approach your ex on your proverbial hands and knees. Sauntering in on your imaginary high horse and pointing out her potential error in judgment will probably get you nowhere.

What to Say to Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back: The Dos
On the other side of the coin is what you should say to get your ex back. Thus, feel free to add the following.

  • "I screwed up.": There may be a million reasons you and your ex broke up, and your ex may indeed deserve the majority of the blame. But if you want her back, you need to own up to whatever part you had, and it would be very rare that you didn't play at least some part.
  • "I have a plan.": Another phrase you should use when trying for a happy reunion is the admission that you have given some thought to the future. You and your ex broke up for a reason and blindly getting back together will probably have a similar result. Having a plan, on the flipside, shows that you are aware of your past struggles and what you need to do the surmount them.
  • "I can wait.": One of the most common mistakes guys make when trying to reconcile with their ex is lack of patience. Many yearn for their ex's affections like a junkie yearns for a fix. But this is unfair; a break up is a time when both parties need a chance to think, decompress and act based on logic, not fresh emotions. This is why telling your ex that you can wait is so important. It acknowledges that you know she may need time, and it shows that you respect her enough to give it to her.

To learn more about what to say to get your ex girlfriend, click here.


Explore YourTango