We pine to be with our ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend again when the wounds are fresh and we can't see straight because our entire world has been turned upside down. Sometimes, we even go to desperate measures. My moments of desperation have included chopping off all my hair, getting a new car, moving to a new country, and going back to school. One I haven't done a lot, but am extremely interested in, is the "I want you back!" selfie.
This particular type of selfie can exist and be distributed in many different ways. I've mentioned before that I like to call it the "get my ex back" selfie, where we do our makeup and hair fabulously and upload it post-breakup in hopes that one, single picture will bring them rushing back before they unfriend/unfollow us. However, that isn't the only way to look at selfies as a means to get your ex back.
With technology where it is today, we don't just have to IM or email things. We can upload, tweet, share, text, Snapchat, link, Instagram—the list goes on and continues to grow. Having so many virtual options of connection means our exes are at a much closer arm's length than they once were (you know, when you had to dial a number and verbally speak to someone or, God forbid, show up on their front porch).
It's so incredibly easy, now, to send them a text at 3 a.m. after bar close, "Wot u dooinn?" So, why wouldn't we do the same with a little selfie action? I feel comfortable in saying the selfie is here to stay and because of that, it's time we, as a collective, define what types of selfies fall underneath the "I want you back" category:
- The Standard Selfie: Put on the cute smile they remember when you two would spend all day together in bed, feet and legs intertwined and sheets askew from rolling around, laughing, and telling each other sweet nothings. Heck, you might even want to take this one lying on your pillow with messy hair.
- The Crying Selfie: Please just don't. Yes, we all experience sadness when something we love is gone, but part of the healing process is to do this without them. It makes you stronger in the end. While the logic might be there in the moment, you will probably feel embarrassed for how irrational you were in hindsight. My advice: keep these for artistic projects once you're far enough away from the breakup.
- The Almost-Naughty Selfie: Your face is probably hidden in these, but you're clothed or covering certain parts up. My logical thinking in this is, if you're trying to get your ex back, you might as well go all the way here. The reality is that they've most likely seen all there is to see already. Teasing may not do the trick.
- The Neck-Down Selfie: This was the polite way of saying the "Rated R" selfie. You're so ashamed of your pose, you don't even include your face. We can all be real for a second and admit to doing this shot once or twice (or twelve), but how often have we used it to get our exes back? So, is it effective? I think that's the real question and I think if it is effective. It is much more prone to work for my younger, more tech-savvy audience. Personally, it's only worked for me once, and I was still 18.
What has actually been effective isn't a selfie or a late-night text that's probably incoherent. In reuniting with exes on any level, what has given me wanted results is respect, distance, and honesty after a great deal of time and after both parties have been given time to grow back into who they are. Give this a shot before resorting to scandalous mirror photos. At the very least, you'll probably be respected a bit more.
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This article was contributed by Jenn Treado.
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