News Flash: Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise are divorcing. Many stories have indicated that Katie filed the divorce papers secretly, and Tom was blindsided with the news. Many people are asking why. While I don't know Katie and her reasons for using this tactic, I have talked to many women over the years and have witnessed multiple reasons to be secretive and careful when considering divorce. 10 Things For Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes To Consider
Please understand that most coupleships can be helped by counseling. This article is for those who have seriously tried counseling, and the relationship has become more unsafe. Listed are six reasons why one partner may need to keep quiet when planning for divorce:
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1. Power. Your partner may be able to hurt you in multiple ways. Physically, a partner may be bigger than you and able to literally push, punch, break or kill you. Emotionally, a partner may attack your self-esteem until you have nothing left. Many partners are left wondering, "Who am I?" and are brainwashed to believe they have no value, except while in a relationship to this powerful person.
Financially, money is also power in our culture. Tom Cruise is reported to be worth $175 million, which is quite a bit of power. Spiritually, a partner may bring a sense of menace to your home, and derail your connection to your higher power.
2. Control. Your partner may be so insecure that he/she must maintain a sense of control to feel okay. Often times, this control is exerted only over you, and other people don't seem to see it. This may be the case with Katie and Tom.
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You also may feel like you have no viable options and that you are walking on egg shells; at any moment, your partner can exert his/her control over you. One tactic often used is to isolate you from your friends and family. The controlling person wants you to attend to only them.
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