Getting divorced? Not so fast, TomKat!
It is reported that Tom Cruise was shocked when Katie Holmes filed for divorce. Yet Another Celebrity Divorce
The decision to break up a family when the children are young is such a serious one, I hope that Katie tried everything she could to keep her family together before making this decision. If Tom was truly shocked, then we know at least two things: 1) Katie is a hell of an actress and 2) He was missing signals that were loud and clear ... at least in her mind.
Can a man be that clueless? Yes, he can. I read these stories all the time. A man wakes up to an empty bed and a note on the table. This is acceptable if it's just the two of you. But if you have kids, try to take the 747 view for everyone's sake.
I can't imagine the stress of being in the public spotlight so I'll tell you straight up: I am not an expert at celebrity relationships. But putting their celebrity aside, what in the world can go so wrong in such a short amount of time? Veterans of marriage will tell you that staying together is no piece of cake. Anyone who is married longer than 15 years knows the personal sacrifice it takes to find peaceful living with another human being. But it can be done — look at Warren Beatty and Annette Benning, Jay and Mavis Leno and Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson, to name a few.
We grandparents have something important to say. As Dr. Phil says, "Every family needs a hero and someone needs to step up for the sake of the kids." If you are breaking up, have young children and you have been married less than ten years, listen up.
1. Love goes through cycles. This rings especially true when the love is sandwiched in between intense careers.
2. Lust doesn't last. Heart-pounding passionate chemistry only lasts for six to 18 months if you are lucky.
3. Children want the family experience. You have children who are looking to you to give them a complete family. You are the only human beings on the planet who are assigned this task.
More divorce advice from YourTango:
- Will Men Date Divorced Women?
- Is Divorce Becoming a Luxury?
- How Do I Know I'm Ready To Start Dating After A Divorce?