How To Regain Your Sense Of Control After A Breakup

By

How To Regain Your Sense Of Control After A Breakup [EXPERT]
Stop trying to control the uncontrollable!

One of the hardest things about the end of a relationship is the feeling that you have no control over your circumstances. Stress associated with uncertainty renders an already overwhelming situation even worse. All influence you once had over your ex has disappeared, and your instincts tell you to resist the situation, even if that's not the most helpful approach possible. 10 Tips For Surviving A Breakup

When a relationship ends, it is common to get stuck trying to control the uncontrollable. Spending time thinking of all the things your ex should be doing differently is a distraction from painful feelings about yourself. Unfortunately, using energy in this way just prolongs emotional disentangling from your partner. So, what should you do instead? 25 Dating Dos And Don'ts [VIDEO]

 

Focus on understanding, having compassion, and healing your own pain. In order to survive a breakup, you must redirect your attention to yourself over and over again. Remember: most of the time, the reason you think you're upset isn't really what's upsetting you at all. Pay attention to your thoughts and feelings. Take steps to soothe your pain and fear. Finding an oasis of certainty, comfort, and stability is exactly what you need. 10 Creative Ways To Break Up

A trusted friend, a favorite place, spending time outdoors, returning "home," seeking out old friends, and taking part in spiritual practices can all help to reprogram your brain to slow down. Take the proverbial deep breath you need to gain the sense of control you desire.

To Read Great Sex Advice:

The Best Sex Advice on YourTango

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Teresa Atkin

Life Coach

Teresa Atkin

www.relationshipplace.com

Location: Madison, WI
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Couples/Marital Issues, Divorce/Divorce Prevention, Empowering Women
Other Articles/News by Teresa Atkin:

When Mental Illness Leads To Divorce: What You Should Know

By

The heartbreaking realities of divorce include the high split rate for people with mental illnesses. A multinational study of mental disorders, marriage and divorce published in 2011 found that a sample of 18 mental disorders all increased the likelihood of divorce — ranging from a 20-percent increase to an 80-percent increase in the divorce rate. ... Read more

6 Need-To-Know Tips For Online Dating After Divorce

By

There's no doubt: dating after divorce can be either an exciting or scary prospect. The vast majority of people who get divorced do go on to date again, and online dating expands the pool of people with whom they might connect. That said, any unresolved issues from your divorce could surface in a new relationship. There is a reason why rebound relationships ... Read more

The Love Hormone: The Truth About Oxytocin

By

A recent article in Scientific American includes some interesting research on oxytocin, commonly known as the "love hormone." The report suggests that oxytocin affects men differently depending on whether they are in a committed relationship or not. So, although this hormone has previously been touted as the factor in attracting and keeping a ... Read more

See More

 
Latest Expert Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Must-see Videos
SEE MORE VIDEOS
Most Popular