One of the hardest things about the end of a relationship is the feeling that you have no control over your circumstances. Stress associated with uncertainty renders an already overwhelming situation even worse. All influence you once had over your ex has disappeared, and your instincts tell you to resist the situation, even if that's not the most helpful approach possible. 10 Tips For Surviving A Breakup
When a relationship ends, it is common to get stuck trying to control the uncontrollable. Spending time thinking of all the things your ex should be doing differently is a distraction from painful feelings about yourself. Unfortunately, using energy in this way just prolongs emotional disentangling from your partner. So, what should you do instead? 25 Dating Dos And Don'ts [VIDEO]
More from YourTango: When Mental Illness Leads To Divorce: What You Should Know
Focus on understanding, having compassion, and healing your own pain. In order to survive a breakup, you must redirect your attention to yourself over and over again. Remember: most of the time, the reason you think you're upset isn't really what's upsetting you at all. Pay attention to your thoughts and feelings. Take steps to soothe your pain and fear. Finding an oasis of certainty, comfort, and stability is exactly what you need. 10 Creative Ways To Break Up
A trusted friend, a favorite place, spending time outdoors, returning "home," seeking out old friends, and taking part in spiritual practices can all help to reprogram your brain to slow down. Take the proverbial deep breath you need to gain the sense of control you desire.
More from YourTango: 6 Need-To-Know Tips For Online Dating After Divorce
To Read Great Sex Advice:
The Best Sex Advice on YourTango