Breaking up is hard to do... or is it?
No one likes being broken up with. And few people actually enjoy being the breaker-upper. But regardless of the situation, it has to happen because as much as I would love to tell you that you will only date one person, that rarely happens.
You know of the regular schtick. You know ... the fading out, the text message "talk," the post-it drop off, or they take you out to dinner pretend like nothing's wrong, then they wait until the parking lot to say things aren't working out. You know, that classic breakup route.
But here are ten ways I'd rather be broken up with:
1. With a balloon: I'd much rather see a balloon floating at my front door that says, "I'm breaking up with you," than get a text that says, "I'm sorry. I can't. Don't hate me." Not to mention, a balloon won't judge you if you decided to cry right then and there.
2. Riding an elephant: What better way to ease the pain than with a free elephant ride? Well, maybe a trip to Italy, but an elephant ride would be a close second.
3. Hiring a choir: Why speak when you can hire professionals to sing it in a five-part harmony and matching outfits?
4. Sending them on a treasure hunt: After a day-long treasure hunt finding nice prizes, you send them to a poster board tied to a tree that says, "It's over: the relationship and the treasure hunt."
5. Buying a box of chocolates and a newly single self-help book: Ring the door bell and leave the presents at the bottom. Before you take off, make sure to write a little one liner in the book: "Hopefully this will help you on your new journey into single life."
6. Hiring a singing telegram: "I am a singing telegram. You're dumped!" Just make sure they don't dress up like a clown.
7. Planning a beautiful picnic dinner in a park: After the last bite, explain to your partner that you want out. This way, the dumpee can be as dramatic as possible. You may want to get out of the way and watch your back for flying objects.
8. With smoke signals: Nothing says "we're over" like circles of smoke.
9. Using legal fireworks: You get a text telling you to look out your window, a firework show starts, and for the finale, the fireworks say, "It's over."
10. Having your mom do it: Who's more sincere than a mother? Why not let your mom say the words you can't seem to find?
Just remember to think about the other person. Keep it private, honest and brief. No matter how you break up with someone, it will be hard on both parties. The important part is that you do what's best for you.
This article was originally published at College Candy. Reprinted with permission from the author.