No one likes being broken up with. And few people, I'm sure, actually enjoy being the breaker upper. But regardless of the situation it has to happen, because as much as I would love to tell you that you will only date one person…it rarely happens. And as someone who as been on both ends, multiple times, I feel as though I can shed some light on creative ways to break up with your S.O. You know instead of the regular schtick. You know, the fading out, the AIM "talk," the post-it drop off or the take you out to dinner pretend like nothing's wrong then wait until the parking lot to say this just isn't working in front of about 5 biker guys who give you sympathetic looks and a "Sorry hunny, rough break." You know, that classic break-up route.
Anyway, here are ten ways I would rather be broken up with:
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1. A balloon. I would much rather see a balloon floating at my front door that says "Courtney, I'm breaking up with you," rather than getting a text that says "I'm sorry. I can't. Don't hate me." Not to mention, a balloon won't judge you if you decided to cry right then and there.
2. Rent an elephant. What better way to ease the pain than with a free elephant ride? Well maybe a trip to Italy…but an elephant ride would be a close second.
3. Hire a choir. Why speak when you can hire professionals to sing it in a 5 part harmony and matching outfits.
4. Send them on a treasure hunt. After a day long treasure hunt finding nice prizes, you send them to a poster board tied to a tree that says "It's over, the relationship and the treasure hunt."
5. Buy a box of chocolate and a newly single self-help book. Ring the door bell leaving the presents at the bottom, before you take off make sure to write a little 3 liner in the book i.e. "Hopefully this will help you on your new journey into single life. – Lisa"