3 Tricks To Stop Yourself From Taking Him Back

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3 Tricks To Stop Yourself From Taking Him Back
The do-over with an ex is far riskier than the search for Mr. Right

If waiting for the right guy seems too risky, suddenly the man you didn’t want starts looking better, and being single-and-waiting feels tragic and scary. Start thinking, “what if Mr. Right doesn’t come along...what if my expectations are unrealistic and I end up alone?” and it’s almost a guarantee that you’ll go back, even though you know it will end in disaster.

You feel like all that energy you exhausted trying to get him to get it, was wasted, and of course, if he is suddenly stepping it up a pace, it plays on your judgment and gets you second guessing your decision. You don’t want to fall for it, but you don’t want to walk away from all that time you’ve spent with him if he really is a good guy. Suddenly, you are in double-thinking limbo, is he good, or is he bad?

To figure it out, you focus on his new efforts or you remember all the good stuff about him too soon, before you’ve even let yourself be mad as hell over the bad stuff he did, or over all that time, effort, and sacrifice, only to end up at the start-all-over again. And doesn’t it piss you off that now he decides to be the stand up, romantic, or whatever kind of guy it was you were asking him to be all along? The do-over with an ex is far riskier than the search for Mr. Right ever could be. It’s time to stop playing around and get serious with yourself; don’t tell me you aren’t angry that you are in this breakup mess~tap into that anger and you’ve got a trick to stop you from going back.

Unacknowledged, silent anger causes extreme damage in women’s lives. No chair throwing, yelling, or violence, I’m talking about a woman’s anger~a softer, internal, self-disappointment type of anger. It’s time to acknowledge it.

Unexpressed frustrations and long term relational struggles from incompatibility, poor communication, or outright battles, interfere with women’s internal peace and intuition, and her external happiness, and success. If you were honest with yourself, you would feel the resentment rise. In order to cope and stay in that bad relationship, you had to shove all your dreams and desires down so deeply that you almost forgot you had them. You had to due without just to sort-of make it work, but the whole time, you were dying inside, and going through the motions outside. You trained yourself to tolerate and to take less than your share because that was the cost to be in love with him, and because you are very giving, you accepted the lack, and put everyone else ahead of yourself. You were tired out from all the pretending and trying, and left him, and when you have some energy back it looks easier to go back than it does to move forward, but it isn’t. Don’t you dare go back; stay the course.  It gets easier and you can have more.

Here are 3 tricks to keep you from going back:

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Teagin Maddox~The Start Over Expert

Author

Teagin Maddox~Start Over Expert
BA (Hons), CPC, Certified Toxic Relationship Specialist
Break Up Safety Training, Break Up / Divorce Recovery Programs,
& Safe Dating Courses for Women
www.teaginmaddox.com
212-799-0420

Location: New York, NY
Credentials: CPC, CRC, Other
Specialties: Dating/Being Single Support, Empowering Women, Financial Stress, Life Management
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