Rev up that passion!
Not too long ago, turning 30 was a very big deal. Black "over the hill" balloons and tombstone decorations for birthday cakes were standard fare for this milestone. Of course, "old geezer" party gear is still available, but today it's not so much used for that 30 year birthday. It's reserved for 40 ... or even 50.
Fifty Is The New 30
Yes, age is just a number! People are living longer lives, and a new attitude toward getting older is emerging. There's an open door, which includes the potential for more satisfaction, happiness, fulfillment, love and relationship passion in the senior years.
We are in the second half of our lives, but this doesn't mean that time is now dominated by decline. For many people over 50, this is a new age of rediscovery and vibrancy, and that includes renewed pleasure both in and out of the bedroom, too!
In a National Council on Aging survey, of those who have sex regularly, both women and men over 60 report more sexual satisfaction than they experienced when they were in their 40s. While challenges such as erectile dysfunction, lack of energy and weaker sex drive were challenges faced by survey participants (and maybe by you too), sexual intimacy can be more emotionally fulfilling and, for many, may even be more physically enjoyable than before.
Whether you are starting a new chapter in your life with a brand new partner or you're with your long-time love navigating midlife changes together, there's nothing that says you have to hobble around and be miserable as you get older. Consider the possibility that this could very well be the BEST time in your life.
If you're looking for more passion with your partner, remember these 6 tips:
1. Consciously enjoy the ride.
It's all about attitude when it comes to getting older! Make it your daily habit to look for what's going right in your relationship, your body, your mind and in your life. This may require intentional focus and creativity, but the more positive, appreciative and uplifted you'll feel when you do is worth the effort.
2. Be real (without getting negative).
Just because you decide to enjoy the ride and notice the good stuff, it doesn't mean you put yourself in denial. Acknowledge the challenge you face and, then, explore the options you have to bring improvement to those areas. Allow room for addressing challenges and obstacles AND for reveling in what is going well for you and your partner.
3. Discover what moves you.
For more passion, it's absolutely crucial that you never stop tuning in to yourself to find out what stirs you and what helps you feel more vital and alive. This is going to change over time, so stay curious and don't assume anything. Treat yourself like the ever-growing, unfolding being you are!
4. Remember what (still) stokes your inner fire.
What have you forgotten about yourself? As much as you're always changing, there could be core interests that you've always had but that you may have set aside because you were too busy to pursue them. Now is the time to revisit those interests and see if you're pulled to explore them further.
It is this work of continually nurturing your inner fire that translate to deeper passion in your relationship. Even if you and your partner don't go off hiking the Appalachian Trail, take a pottery class, or volunteer at a food pantry together, as you follow your passions individually, you'll bring a new sense of energy and excitement to the time you do share as a couple.
5. Make room for a different passion.
Leave behind your expectations about what you think intimacy and lovemaking "should" be, especially if you're basing those expectations on what it once was like. Stay open and curious. Have regular conversations with your partner to find out what you both like and then experiment with new ways to touch and be touched, both non-sexual and sexual touches.
6. Celebrate each and every moment.
We've all heard the advice to "savor each moment" and it's so true! The more you can look around you, including at yourself and your partner, and find something to celebrate in a genuine way, the happier you'll be. And when you're in a state of appreciation, it's much easier for you to open up to your partner to share and receive connection and intimacy (in all its forms).