Should You Stay Married For The Sake Of Your Kids?

By

Should You Stay Married For The Sake Of Your Kids? [EXPERT]
6 questions to consider before filing for divorce.

Jess remembers what it was like to grow up in a so-called "broken family." She can still hear her classmates teasing her because her parents were divorced. She can still feel the emotional pain of being unable to decide which of her parents she wanted to spend her birthday and holidays with.

Now that Jess is an adult, she's re-living her experience of being a child whose parents split up because her own marriage is falling apart. She looks at her two daughters and worries about them. The last thing she wants is for her children to go through what she did from having parents who divorced.

 

Despite this, Jess also worries about what kind of life her daughters will have if she and her husband stay together. He has cheated with two different women. It's becoming more and more difficult for Jess to hide the arguments that she and her husband have about his lying and affairs. The big question on Jess' mind is this: "Should I stay in this miserable marriage for the sake of my kids?"

You may be living a similar nightmare. Your marriage or love relationship is in bad shape. You and your partner argue and fight frequently. Either (or both) of you may be cheating. The love seems to have left the relationship and you're trying to decide what to do.

And, you worry about your kids. You worry about how upset and possibly abandoned they will feel when either you or your partner moves out. You fear the potential long-term effects on your kids of not having a mom or dad live with them all of the time. You are anxious about how much emotional pain they will be in because of your breakup.

This decision about whether to stay in or leave your relationship is important. It is not just you and your partner who will be affected, it is an even more significant decision. These six questions can help you decide whether to stay in or leave your relationship:

1. What is the main reason why I am considering leaving the relationship? Be very honest with yourself. For the moment, set aside your concerns about your children and get clear about your own wants, needs and feelings. If you had to point to one thing, what is the main reason why you're thinking about ending your relationship? The Power Of Intentions: Thriving Through Divorce

It could be general, like a lack of intimacy and closeness. It might be very specific, like his or her cheating that you just can't forget or forgive.

More divorce advice from YourTango:

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Susie & Otto Collins

Author

Susie and Otto Collins are relationship coaches and authors who help couples communicate, connect and create the passionate relationships they desire.



 

Location: Columbus, OH
Credentials: BS, CCC
Specialties: Communication Problems, Couples/Marital Issues
Other Articles/News by Susie & Otto Collins:

Write Your Own Happy Relationship Story

By

It can be worrisome and may even keep you up at night! We’re talking about studies and poll results about relationships that get shared all over the web and talked about by your friends and family. Unfortunately, some of the findings of social science research are misunderstood, taken out of context or don’t disclose the small sample ... Read more

3 Words That Will Ruin Your Relationship

By

We’ve said them. You’ve said them. Couples said them. Everybody has said (out loud or in our minds) these three very innocent words whose combined meaning packs a mean punch that can knock everything that’s sweet and wonderful right out of a love relationship or marriage. In fact, these three average and ordinary words can even make it ... Read more

I Love You, But...

By

You can't understand why your boyfriend claims you don't show him any respect. You're baffled that your wife says you're "impossible" to please. None of what your partner says makes sense to you because—in your mind—you're always loving and supportive. Before you totally discount what your special someone alleges, ... Read more

See More

 
PARTNER POSTS
Latest Expert Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Must-see Videos
SEE MORE VIDEOS
Most Popular