Should You Stay Married For The Sake Of Your Kids?

By

Should You Stay Married For The Sake Of Your Kids? [EXPERT]
6 questions to consider before filing for divorce.

Jess remembers what it was like to grow up in a so-called "broken family." She can still hear her classmates teasing her because her parents were divorced. She can still feel the emotional pain of being unable to decide which of her parents she wanted to spend her birthday and holidays with.

Now that Jess is an adult, she's re-living her experience of being a child whose parents split up because her own marriage is falling apart. She looks at her two daughters and worries about them. The last thing she wants is for her children to go through what she did from having parents who divorced.

Despite this, Jess also worries about what kind of life her daughters will have if she and her husband stay together. He has cheated with two different women. It's becoming more and more difficult for Jess to hide the arguments that she and her husband have about his lying and affairs. The big question on Jess' mind is this: "Should I stay in this miserable marriage for the sake of my kids?"

You may be living a similar nightmare. Your marriage or love relationship is in bad shape. You and your partner argue and fight frequently. Either (or both) of you may be cheating. The love seems to have left the relationship and you're trying to decide what to do.

And, you worry about your kids. You worry about how upset and possibly abandoned they will feel when either you or your partner moves out. You fear the potential long-term effects on your kids of not having a mom or dad live with them all of the time. You are anxious about how much emotional pain they will be in because of your breakup.

This decision about whether to stay in or leave your relationship is important. It is not just you and your partner who will be affected, it is an even more significant decision. These six questions can help you decide whether to stay in or leave your relationship:

1. What is the main reason why I am considering leaving the relationship? Be very honest with yourself. For the moment, set aside your concerns about your children and get clear about your own wants, needs and feelings. If you had to point to one thing, what is the main reason why you're thinking about ending your relationship? The Power Of Intentions: Thriving Through Divorce

It could be general, like a lack of intimacy and closeness. It might be very specific, like his or her cheating that you just can't forget or forgive.

More divorce advice from YourTango:

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Susie & Otto Collins

Author

Susie and Otto Collins are relationship coaches and authors who help couples communicate, connect and create the passionate relationships they desire.



 

Location: Columbus, OH
Credentials: BS, CCC
Specialties: Communication Problems, Couples/Marital Issues
Other Articles/News by Susie & Otto Collins:

I Love You, But...

By

You can’t understand why your boyfriend claims you don’t show him any respect. You’re baffled that your wife says you’re “impossible” to please. None of what your partner says makes sense to you because-- in your mind-- you’re always loving and supportive. Before you totally discount what your special someone ... Read more

Oops, I Accidentally Broke Up With My Partner. Now What?

By

You don't know why you said it, but you did. It was a stupid argument and you can't even remember how the conflict started or what it was really about. What you won't ever forget is how frustrated and angry you were and the stunned look on your partner's face when you uttered the words... “It’s over! I’m leaving ... Read more

Should You Track the One You Love?

By

Focus on the facts. This is advice that we’ve offered over the years to countless women and men who were confused and worried about their relationships. Whether it’s suspicions that their partner is having an affair or anxiety that he or she doesn’t feel the same way, it’s always a good idea to lay out the observable, reliable and ... Read more

See More

PARTNER POSTS
Latest Expert Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Most Popular