7 Ways Porn Wreaks Havoc In Marriage

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7 Ways Porn Wreaks Havoc In Marriage

28,258.

That's the number of Internet users that are viewing porn this second.

372.

The number of internet users typing in adult related search terms into search engines every second. I'm not naive. Men and Women like sex. Sex is a great thing between a husband and a wife. But, porn is a distortion of a good thing. Porn: When It Helps & When It Hurts.

I know.

I have battled it myself. Maybe you can learn a bit from my struggle so you don't have to go through the same in your marriage.

Here is a quick list of how porn wreaked havoc in my marriage:

1. I Did Not Value My Wife

Other bodies occupied my mind and my thoughts. I keep a careful watch on my imagination now, and it is much better now that I am not surfing porn, or looking for a quick "hit" from a somewhere else. My marriage wasn't front and center in my life -- it wasn't my priority. Porn caused hurt, resentment, a lack of trust and faith between me and my wife.

2. I Valued the Physical Act, Over Knowing My Wife Fully

In Tim Alan Gardner's book Sacred Sex, he suggests that the goal of sex is not the orgasm. The goal of sex is oneness with your spouse. For me, sex was always about the orgasm and not much else. I never realized that I was supposed to be striving for oneness with my wife. Our wives are more than "just a body." They are spirit, soul, mind, and, yes, a body. Many layers. But for many years, I was only after the one layer - the body. Do you really know your spouse when you jump into bed with them? Or are you just there for the 'feel good'? Sure, shallow sex might feel good for a couple minutes, but not being connected to your spouse on more than the physical level will leave so much to be desired in your relationship. By focusing only on one piece of her being, I was making her an object for my release. Not truly loving her as a whole woman. It is sad to think of all the time I wasted, but I am glad to have figured it out.  With many years ahead of us, I can honor her and continue learning more about her. (* a vital part of your marriage: continue to learn about your spouse - it keeps you interested in them!)

3. I Dishonored God

I consider myself a Jesus follower. And, to be honest, I was doing a crappy job following him. In my particular faith, I am supposed to be the husband of one wife. Not several wives. If I am trying to live by what the Bible suggests, thinking lustfully about a woman actually puts me in the same category as having sex with her.

4. I Had No Boundaries

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Stu Gray

Marriage Educator

Stu and his wife are marriage mentors who love encouraging and challenging married couples to have a stupendous marriage!

Location: Franklin, TN
Credentials: Other
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