I have a belief that I have formed after more than 10 years of being a mother. I believe that some people are born with the innate ability to be a magnificent parent — to effortlessly and effectively bring out the best in their kids and delight in the process. And others (like me) are born with no such ability. For us, being a parent can be a surprise when we discover that this is something we are not instantly brilliant at, maybe for the first time in our lives. We are not born with any innate ability to be a child whisperer. It's certainly not effortless. It feels like too much of the time we are not all that effective. And all of that is actually heart breaking because no one told us that we wouldn't know exactly how to do this magnificently when that baby came out.
As I've gotten older, my friends and acquaintances are mostly parents, and I have come to a new belief. When I first became a mother, I thought that most people were in the first category (innate ability), and only I was in the second category (no such ability). I'm now pretty sure that most parents who really care about being an awesome parent fall into that second category. And the people in that first category are actually the beautiful souls that come into this world with being a child whisperer as their unique brilliance and gift in this world. Like my sister-in-law Kerri. I've known that Kerri's unique brilliance was being a mother for our entire lives (I've known her since she was 9 years old) even though she actually just became a mother last year. She just came into this world with parenting as her unique brilliance. That's what makes her a great teacher as well as an outstanding mother.
So this is what I have discovered; you know how I always say that "magnificent relationships are created, not found, so stop searching and start building because it is so worth it." I have discovered that it is the same for parenting! Being an empowered and effective parent and enjoying the journey is something that is created; you are not born with that ability, so stop judging yourself for it and start creating it. It's so worth it.
Today, this is my experience of parenting. I treasure the unique brilliance in each of my children. Most of the time, I effortlessly handle their every day ups and downs with ease and grace. I have a ton of fun with my kids. I am wildly playful with them. I have a deeply honest and real relationship with each of them. I do not treat them the same. I do not get frustrated on a daily basis. I enjoy watching their journey. I trust myself in every situation — the ones I am prepared for and the ones I am totally not prepared for. I focus on what matters and let go of the rest. I may not always actually do what I know works, but I do know what works, and when I forget, I can get right back into it.
I actually love being a parent and guess what? I think I rock at being a parent — the parent that my kids need me to be. Does things still get tough around here and do I still have a lot to deal with? Absolutely! But like in relationships, I know how to handle what comes; I trust myself that what I'm doing is the best thing for my kids and I do not stay stuck in negativity for very long. What changed for me? How did I go from feeling like a total failure and panicked that I was ruining my kids' entire lives to being a mother that I am wicked proud to be? For me, I feel it comes down to four keys:
- Personal growth and development work for me, individually.
- A perspective shift on parenting.
- Parenting tools and strategies that really work.
- Expert guidance.
I have another belief in life; any area of your life where you have pain is an area you need to grow in. If parenting is a struggle for you (whether mildly or massively) it's because you are supposed to grow here. You know I can't sugar coat, so I'm just going to be blunt, parent to parent; it's not your kid's job to be the kid you want them to be. it's your job to parent them in a way that allows them to flourish into who they already are.
Since I personally believe in modeling — finding someone who is wildly successful at what I want to do and teaching it successfully and repeatedly to many people who are getting the results I want — I sought out a solution. I was seeking someone who was teaching tools and strategies that really worked in a way that aligned with what Paul and I believe about creating a life by design, having personal responsibility, empowering yourself to create what you want and absolutely living from unconditional love and compassion. Divinely guided, I found Amy McCready of Positive Parenting Solutions. I began listening to Amy's proven positive parenting approach methodology and applying her strategies the same day. That night, our household was very different. No yelling, no fighting, no repeating — there was happy, peaceful cooperation, and our parenting has never been the same since.
Paul and I are so grateful to Amy — there really are no words. How can you ever thank someone who empowered you to do something so life-changing as being the best parent you can possibly be for your kids and increased your quality of life by 1,000 percent? So, we have decided to pay it forward. We want to share Amy with you. We want you to get the same tools and strategies that completely transformed our family and empowered us to create the positive, happy and delightful parenting experience that we have today. That's why I have invited Amy to join me in a webinar for you. You are invited to join us, and it's totally free. Tuesday, August 26th at 2 PM Eastern Standard Time: http://bit.ly/1sxUHp3.
In this content-packed webinar, Amy will share her proven tools for your most frustrating discipline dilemmas including her 5 R's of Fair And Effective Consequences. I will also ask Amy to share with you my number one go-to strategy that I use every day. It's a game changer. You can experience a shift in your household that same night — just like me. I so want that for you, and I want that for your kids. Space is limited, so please RSVP now: http://bit.ly/1sxUHp3
You are not failing at parenting; it's just that no one has yet showed you the tools and strategies and step-by-step plan that actually help you to be the parent your kids need you to be. You absolutely can raise autonomous, authentic, empowered, confident, contributing and personally responsible children, and Amy can give you her secrets to doing it easily and effectively. Join us! RSVP at http://bit.ly/1sxUHp3.
p.s. Amy has since become a very dear friend to Paul and I. We absolutely adore her (and her hubby and two teenage boys) and are thrilled to share her with you. Amy is the founder of Positive Parenting Solutions and the author of If I Have to Tell You One More Time: The Revolutionary Program That Gets Your Kids To Listen Without Nagging, Reminding Or Yelling. Amy is a regular parenting contributor on The TODAY Show and has also appeared on Rachael Ray , CBS This Morning, CNN, Fox & Friends, MSNBC, Steve H arvey and elsewhere.
Stacey Martino helps people who feel stuck, frustrated and helpless with the challenges that intimate relationship brings. Through targeted, strategic private coaching, programs and events for her Relationship Transformation™, Relationship Rescue™ and Relationship Transition™ programs, individuals learn to use her proven strategies and tools to create an unshakable love and unleashed passion that lasts a lifetime.
Stacey firmly believes that it absolutely does NOT take two to tango, that one person can significantly shift the dynamics of the relationship. Clients have praised Stacey for helping them to see massive results in record time. Formerly known as "The Ice Princess", Stacey is intimately aware of what it takes to transform oneself to be ready to both give and receive love and passion like you have never experienced before.
Download Stacey's free audio program, "How To Transform Your Relationship iI Eight Steps" at http://relationshiptransformationsystem.com/freegift/
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