How To (Finally) Get Your Husband To Listen To You

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Married life: how to get your husband to listen to you
Sometimes, you have to treat your husband like one of the kids and apply some behavior modification.

Why does it seem like a daunting and never-ending task to get your husband and kids to listen to you? How many times a day do you feel like you're not only raising your own kids, but raising your husband—the big kid—too? Is it difficult for him to make basic decisions or do you always have to ask him to clean or do other things? It would come as common sense to most moms that if you drop something, you should pick it up and put it where it belongs. Why is this so difficult for husbands to realize? Is it on purpose or is their common sense meter simply missing? 

As a wife and mother of two, I can understand the frustration and aggravation married women feel when something goes wrong that could have easily been avoided if their husband had just used some common sense. "What in the world was he thinking? Oh yeah, he wasn't." The million-dollar question is, "How do I get my husband to listen to me?" The second million-dollar question is, "How do I get my husband and my kids to listen to me?" Often, children are learning this behavior from their fathers. Wouldn't it be nice if men thought to themselves, "I care about how you feel when the house is dirty"? I know I would love that.

The best advice I can offer you is to treat your husband the way you treat your kids when you want them to do something. Here are recommendations on how to get started. Be mindful that behavior modification doesn't occur overnight and that you'll need to tweak it to your husband. Good luck, ladies.

1. Let him know what you expect. For example, tell him, "I'm looking forward to you helping me with the dishes today. It makes me feel so good when you help me. I really like that about you," even if he hasn't washed the dishes in years. Flatter him and pretty soon, you'll start seeing things change. Some people complain that seducing your spouse when expressing your needs is manipulative—it's not! You do way more for no seduction in return! Remember that. Keep reading...

More advice for married couples from YourTango:

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Shelley Skas

Counselor/Therapist

Shelley Skas MA LCPC

Location: Orland park, IL
Credentials: LCPC, NCC
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