4 Tips To Create & Build Sexual Tension For Better Sex


4 Tips To Create & Build Sexual Tension For Better Sex
Build sexual tension with eye contact. It works!

Learning how to create and build sexual tension with your partner can be a difficult task and is something that I teach extensively. The main reason that people make mistakes when trying to create sexual tension is because they confuse being sexual with sexual tensionThe 2 are completely different.

(P.S. If you want to learn my best dirty talking tips & techniques for building sexual tension & turning him on, you’ll find them in this powerful video)


Sexual tension is the feeling that you experience when you are around a guy and want him, but don't actually act on it. Being sexual involves physically acting on any sexual feeling. If you want to have a man obsessed with you and constantly thinking about you, then you should know that building sexual tension is a much more powerful tool to use.

So you are probably now wondering, what are the best ways to build sexual tension with your man? Well let me start by explaining what not to do.

  • Don't be sexually available every single time your man wants you.
  • Don't be afraid to tease your man.
  • Don't be afraid to make strong eye contact with him.

Ok, now let's learn how to actually build sexual tension.

1. Teasing Your Man
The easiest and most fun way to build sexual tension with your man is to tease him and tell him about what could potentially happen in the future. You will mostly be doing this verbally and through text messages/email, but some aspects of it will be physical too.

So rather than just telling him, "I really want to have sex with you tonight", try being much more subtle and teasing. So try saying, "I hope you behave yourself tonight" or "I not sure if I'm going to spend the night, I'll have to see if you can change my mind".

Both of these phrases are quite vague and not very direct. This is the essence of creating sexual tension...allowing your man's mind to wander and fill in the blanks.

By allowing your man to fill in the blanks and try to figure out what you mean, you are getting him thinking about you more, wondering if you meant to be sexual or not...all of which is going to build tension with him.

As well as verbally teasing him, don't forget to introduce some physical teasing as well. The easiest way to explain physical teasing is that you want to almost give him what he wants. Here are 3 ways to accomplish that.

  • Pull him in close and almost kiss him. Then push him away and say, "You're going to have to wait a little longer mister" or "You need to earn it first".
  • Brush past him and as you do, give him a very, very gentle pinch on the butt. If he asks about it, just change the subject as if nothing happened. Perfect for keeping him thinking.
  • When you are out in public together or at a place where you absolutely must not be physical with each other, lean in close to him and whisper something in his ear like, "All I want to do right now is get down on my knees for you". Then immediately change the subject or start talking to someone else. Your man almost won't believe what he heard, but I can guarantee you that for the rest of the night he will be thinking about nothing else but what you just said!
  • You can even physically tease him while giving him oral sex by applying only the smallest amount of pressure as you lick and kiss his penis. For more detailed (& explicit) advice on giving your man a great oral sex, you may be interested in using the techniques from this video tutorial.

2. Eye Contact
One of the most subtle ways to build sexual tension with a partner is through the deft use of eye contact. Being able to make strong, unflinching eye contact with your partner from time to time is great for creating sexual tension.

It's especially powerful when you can do it while you are saying something naughty or dirty to them. Now there is no need to constantly maintain eye contact with your partner. To be honest, if you are just constantly staring at him, then it will probably start to feel weird, so try to use 'strong, unflinching eye contact' sparingly.

3. It Takes Time To Build Up
While learning how to create sexual tension with your man, you may be keen to do it as fast as possible and make it happen right now. This isn't a great strategy to have. You will get a much more powerful reaction from your man if you can do it slowly and steadily.

You'll even find that sometimes when you drag it out over a number of days or even weeks before acting on how you feel, when you eventually do break the sexual tension, it will feel incredible

4. Don't Forget To Release It
The very last thing that I have to say on building sexual tension is that you need to release it from time to time. If all you ever do is build sexual tension between yourself and your man and never release it, then your man is going to get incredibly frustrated and even annoyed with you.

Nobody likes someone who is a tease all the time. 

These basic tips on how to build sexual tension should get you started on the right foot, but if you want more tips and techniques on how to tease your man and build incredible sexual tension, then you may be interested in watching this detailed video on how to talk dirty to your man to build sexual tension and turn him on.

More foreplay advice on YourTango:


Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Sean Jameson


Learn more by visiting the Bad Girl's Bible site where you will get all my best sex tips and advice.

Location: Dublin, DB, Ireland
Credentials: Other
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