How To Make A Man Interested In You (Without Looking Desperate)

You don't have to chase him.

By Rori Raye — Written on Feb 02, 2018

Photo: weheartit

how to make a guys love you and want a relationship

When we fall in love with a man and want a relationship with him, it's normal to worry that if we don't show enough interest, he might get the wrong message and drift away.

We want to make sure the guy knows just how much we like him — and especially want to know how to make him interested in a relationship with us long-term.

So we often do things we think show affection, like:

Reach out to share something interesting you just read or to tell him you heard a great band playing somewhere.
Touch base because you haven't heard from him today or try to nail down your weekend plans together in advance.
Initiate contact by calling him, texting him, Facebooking him, sending him a cute card, or dropping by his house unannounced.
Ask him how he feels about you or your relationship.
Invite him to come and join you for a specific activity or act like the social director of the relationship in any way.

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At first glance, these actions might seem completely harmless. In fact, you may feel that he'll just see you as being friendly, maybe even take it as a compliment and want to get closer to you.

But doing any of these things makes it seem like you're the one chasing him and shifts you into masculine energy, which could actually be scaring him away.

Your overly attentive behaviors could actually setting off his internal alarms.

At best, when a man feels even a little bit pursued, he’ll feel he doesn’t have to work so hard to win you over and will immediately drop his efforts. At worse, he'll start to feel more than just "pursued" — he might start to feel annoyed.

If you keep checking in with him in all those "friendly" little ways (that are really about getting the reassurance YOU need), he’ll start to get that "chased feeling."

And then he'll do what any of us would do when feeling crowded, smothered, or pressured: He'll start pulling AWAY.

Whether we realize it or not, the urge to do all of these friendly things comes from just one place — our fear of losing a man by failing to let him know we’re interested in him. But we couldn’t be more wrong by giving in to this fear, or be in worse danger of scaring a man off for good.

This type of "chasing" behavior is like an alarm going off for a man. It not only sends him the message that you're insecure in yourself, it sends him in an overly aggressive vibe that makes him feel uncomfortable, even trapped.

To say the least, all of this makes you less attractive to him and makes sure he won't feel inspired to explore getting closer. After all, you're interfering with his chance to learn how he feels about the "real" you. Sooner or later, he’ll lose interest — and then start looking for a chance to escape.

So, what's the secret to making a man fall in love and wanting to be in a relationship with you?

Lure him; don't chase him.

I know how frustrating it is to sit back and let a man take the lead. We want him to know we’re interested in him. We want to make it easy for him to ask us out again. We want to seem enthusiastic and easy-going.

But the only way to REALLY make sure that a man feels inspired to do everything in his power to get closer to you is to make sure that he feels happy and good around you.

To do this, give him the breathing space and the opportunities he needs to start pleasing you. As long as you seem happy and show him how much you enjoy his company, a man will always keep coming back for more.