5 Reasons Gay Men Have Bigger Balls Than Straight Men
Why gay men have bigger "jingle balls" than straight men!
Before we launch into this diatribe of "Who has bigger jingle balls, gay or straight men?" let me first set the record straight.
- If you're looking for a thesis exploring the proportional differences of the male penis in gay men vs. straight men ... look somewhere else.
- I am pleading the Fifth Amendment and refusing to discuss the rights, wrongs, and in the middles of gay rights or biblical views on homosexuality.
- If you take offense to anything I say, just remember this article doesn't have to become your truth. Although there are some fab little gems in it (boy did I just flame or what!)
That being said, let's roar full steam ahead (no pun intended) and discover why gay men's "jingle balls" rule! Straight guys don't get offended or feel threatened by this topic. I'm not here to make you feel small, even though a fair share of you seem to think that's your inalienable right to make gay men feel less than. Let's draw a truce for the next few paragraphs and see what we might learn about one another. Fair enough? Ok, onto the list! 3 Ways Gay Men Help A Lady's Love Life
Top 5 Reasons My Gay Jingle Balls Are Bigger Than Yours!
1. Gay men embrace their femininity.
Now before you start pounding your chests and puffing out your tail feathers Mr. Macho and agreeing with what I just said, understand this! Gay men don't just embrace our feminine because we like our tails played with. Nope, there's so much more to us than the sexual sickdome you straight guys envision in your mind about what gay men are all about and do in bed. Can Women Be Trusted to Uncage Their Sexuality?
We actually embrace our tender, gentle-hearted, nurturing feminine energy and use it to release ourselves into acceptance of self. Yes it's true, there are macho leather daddies, tough cowboys, hot men in uniform that are gay, but underneath it all, it took a lot of embracing the feminine energy to "come out" and be in the truth of our homosexuality. That takes big jingle balls!
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2. Gay men love the ladies.
Contray to what you think, we gay men do love the ladies. I know this really gets your moxie up when you see a hot, drop dead gorgeous, 38-24-36, lady holding court and rocking her sensuality with a group of gay guys and there's no room for you at the throne. Get over it ! It's not like we're looking to "dive down under" or "fill the void!" Quite honestly, we get invited to the party more often than not because:
- We treat a lady like a lady
- She feels no threat from the "lizards in our Lucky Brand jeans"
- We share a lot of the same struggles around human rights
It's an interesting twist on what you straight guys call "brotherhood" and we call "Sistahood!" You know, it's kind of like you can't be in the fraternity unless your capable of belching the National Anthem, maintaining 3 Trojans on your person at all times, and conjuring up 10 convincing reasons why hanging with the boys is more important than...well anything your gal wants you to do. Now are you really surprised why the girl always gets the gay guy? It's because we have balls enough to treat the lady like a lady! Do You Love Yourself?
3. Gay men have mastered living with men.
Duh ... lesson number one of "I'm Gay!" You better be ready to live, eat, and breathe "man-on-man!" Trust me, just ask the ladies, this ain't no easy task. Let's step back to a time, a close-knit time of living with your college buddy, a male roommate, your brother, or your dad! Now, think about living with them the rest of your life, just you and him.
Are you stupid or what? Who in their right mind would choose to live with a man?! This one fact alone is an astounding tribute to the stamina and mental tenacity gay men and straight women share and embody in order to embrace, ignore when necessary, and love beyond boundaries, the men in their lives. Tis' yet another unwrapped truth why gay men's balls are bigger than straight men's — because we learn to live with men day in and day out.
4. Gay men don't hide from their sexual energy.
Now, before you start throwing the stones of "Yeah, because you're all big ho's," remember, the male in all of us is the hunter! After all, one of the most common phrases about men is, "That's just what men do!" That means you too buddy boy! Don't tell me Mr. Happy doesn't rule your road when a hot chic walks past you or gives you even a sliver of attention. Same thing with gay men. When a hot guy checks us out we spring to attention. Some of us act on it, others of us keep our Jones in our 501 Button Flys!
Here's the difference, and I'm making no judgment either way. Gay men just seem to have more sex because society says that's what we do. And, in some cases, yes, some gay men live for sex. But so do some heterosexual men! Just go look at the Craigslist Personal's under "Man Seeking Woman" and then compare it to the "Men Seeking Men" listings. There's as much tail getting chased on both sides of that online fence as there are members of the moral majority. So, stop hiding from your sexual energy and admit it. When you do, then you have the balls of a gay man to be in your truth.
5. Gay men take "bromance" seriously!
How so? Some of the straightest acting guys are gay! "Oh my! Who stole their swish!" Yes, we gay men can be studly, macho, manly men, just like you guys. In fact, we play baseball, football, dig ditches, repair cars, and even manage to fart in public. All of these facets of who we are as gay men, along with our trials to live in a society that says we are less than, makes our "bromances" tighter than Sarah Palin's ponytail on a wolf hunt. We are one strong, diverse, creative, bitchy, funny, and supportive brotherhood, and don't you forget it. Cause lord knows, it takes the balls of a gay man to live in the gay culture ... no offense to my gay brothers.
The next time you find yourself sitting in your man cave, scratching your balls, and shooting the derogative remarks around about gay men, just remember the day you read this article and learned, in order to have the "jingle balls" of a gay you have to step into your femininity, treat your lady with respect 24/7, masterfully live with men without feeling insecure, admit you're a sexual hounddog, and take your "bromance" seriously without thinking it means your tying the knot with your best bud. Gay Man's Guide To Finding Peace With Your Body!
One final thought ... Take it as a frickin' compliment if a gay man checks you out. Doesn't mean we want to nail ya (ok, we do, but doesn't mean we will!) It simply means you've got the look, just like all those women you guys steal sideways glances at. However, if you decide you're curious and interested in what it feels like beyond a gay guy checking you out ... well that's a different article altogether!
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