If you are searching for a love relationship, but keep getting disappointed .... if you are attracting the same man in a different body over and over again ... or if you feel that you give a lot and get little in return, then there is one question I want you to ask yourself, the answer to which will transform your entire life experience: Do you love yourself?
Yes, it's obvious. Yes, you've heard it before. And yes, it's very easy to say: Of course, I love myself! Yet, in 90% of cases, the ultimate reason why you haven't been able to attract love into your life is your lack of love towards yourself. Stop Sabotaging Your Love Life!
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Why? There are books written about why and how we lose self love. Most of the reasons trace back to our childhood. When we were scolded for wrong doing (on a regular basis), or told we weren't "good enough" by our well-meaning parents, we took it literally and personally, and the "not good enough" part imprinted in our subconscious mind, forever depriving us of the ability to love ourselves. Religion added to this by telling us we are all sinners, so it's in our nature to do things that are "wrong." Is Religion Hurting Your Sex Life?
It's really not that important to try to understand why we lost self love, but what is important is to notice how the lack of love for ourselves causes us to literally push love away on all levels and attract people who can't or won't love us.
How Does It Work? The tricky part is that you may not be aware that you hate or are ashamed of some aspect of yourself. On the surface you may think, I am fine. Your brain tells you that because logically you know there is nothing wrong with you. Yet, when you meet a guy you like, your first impulse is: He is way out of my league. I better run before I get hurt.
Another way this issue shows up is when you are in a relationship with someone, you subconsciously expect it to end badly. Deep inside you know he will soon lose interest, or find someone else. How do you know that? Because you rely on the assumption that you are "not good enough." Do You Talk Down To Yourself?
So, What Happens Then? Then you act in ways that convey to him that you are trying to save the relationship:
- You are afraid to lose him
- You cling to him
- You become suspicious
- You sacrifice yourself to do stuff for him that he doesn't value
- You sacrifice your values and beliefs in an attempt to make him like you
He feels trapped and feels the need to get out.
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Or, another scenario: You become cold and push him away in an attempt to be the one leaving and avoid getting hurt.
The Shift. In order to attract love into your life you have to first cultivate love within yourself. You have to radiate love. You have to start with the most important person in your life — YOU. 25 Simple Self-Care Habits For A Happier Love Life