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The Sex & Run: How To Avoid Being His One Night Stand

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When the sex is consensual but the aftermath isn't. There's one trick to avoid becoming a victim.

Ah, the sex-and-run. For some, it's like being the victim of a crime.

Like the hit-and-run, the sex-and-run catches you totally off guard. It often involves alcohol or drug use by one or both parties. It usually happens after dark and much more quickly than you'd ever imagine. One minute you are talking, ignoring anything but the moment, guard down. The next, it's like something creeps up on a girl like The Situation on 'The Jersey Shore.' What Jersey Shore's Sammi & Ronnie Can Teach Us About Love

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Of course, men can be victims too. But most who suffer from this phenomenon are females. They are often on first dates with guys who look better after the second martini. Popular locations include dorm rooms, hotel rooms, frat houses and penthouses. Indeed, this "crime" does not discriminate against age, race, religion, gender, or class.

The actual intercourse can happen when you are really hoping for it or when you are feeling about as sexy as a granny-panty-wearing-woman on her period. The sex is hopefully always consensual, but the consequences never are. You did not agree to a one night stand! You were kind of sort of dating this person, or at least hoping to!

The perpetrator — as your mother could have told you — acted in quite the predictable fashion. He "loved you and left you," or "hit it and quit it." Of course. At best you enjoyed it. At the absolute worst, you are wondering if you have an STD. Maybe you want to know where the damn guy disappeared to, when he left, or how you did not hear him. But don't get too stressed about the latter. Most men who commit the sex-and-run are repeat offenders.

Would you like to never be victimized again? Chances are, if you are looking for a long-term relationship or marriage, you would. My number one tip for avoiding the sex-and-run: no sex on the first date! Is It Love Or Emotional Dependency?

More from YourTango: Heartbreak Cure # 1: Your Ex Is Stunad!

I've said it once, and I'll say it again. Although there are fabulous exceptions to the rule, smushing on the first date generally will not take you to the altar. It may take you to exciting places that you'd like to go to again and again, but if your goal is to tie the knot, have a little discipline and put your sex drive in check!

Want to know how to go from Date # 1 to Just Married with the partner of your dreams? Or maybe you just want a little more advice on avoiding the sex-and-run? Check out Rachel Russo's new website www. StatusMakeover.com , sign up for her complimentary Labels & Love Newsletter, and get your free gift "7 Steps To Attract The Love Of Your Life."

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