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There's no such thing as boredom in the bedroom.
By Pleasure Mechanics — Written on Jun 08, 2017
Are you bored with your sex life? Aching for something a bit more adventurous — maybe even a bit naughty? It's time you explored kinky sex.
Before we dive into specific kinky sex ideas, let’s get one thing clear: kinky sex is for everyone! We all have an inner kinkster just waiting to come out to play. Kinky sex isn’t just about bondage and spankings — truth is, kinky sex is about opening your mind to the incredible range of erotic pleasures available to us and embracing a wider variety of sexual experiences. What feels kinky to one woman will be routine for another — we all have our own comfort zones and areas that we are eager to explore.
So set aside all preconceptions of what kinky sex means and just give yourself permission to imagine the possibilities. Here are 7 kinky sex steps to get you started on the delicious path of exploring kink and really spice up your sex life.
1. Start by fantasizing.
Great kinky sex begins right in your own imagination. Start fantasizing about kinky sex and notice what turns you on. Your fantasies (which are pure imagination, and not always what you want to happen in real life) reveal a lot of great information about your turn-ons.
Need a jumpstart? Read kinky erotica anthologies and pay attention to what grabs your attention. You are much more likely to get what you want if you can start getting specific about what turns you on!
2. Talk dirty.
Once you have become familiar with your fantasies, start sharing them with your partner with dirty talk. As you are snuggling up at night, start painting the picture for one another. What would you like your partner to do to you? Remember, you are not making formal requests but rather fantasizing together out loud.
If it feels easier, start with an outlandish scenario: One of you has discovered an erotic superpower. What is it and what do you do with it? You are both stranded on a desert island, how do you pass the time? You have only one more night together before being separated for a year, how would you say goodbye? If this feels vulnerable and scary, great! That means you are expanding out of your comfort zone!
3. Play with different sensations.
One big category of kinky sex is Sensation Play. This type of kinky sex is all about playing with more intense sensations, a wider variety of sensations and using sensation to create an extraordinary erotic journey. Dip your toes into the hot waters of kink by ramping up the intensity of your favorite sensations.
Like your back scratched during sex? Ask for it a little harder! Love a little spank here and there? Ask your lover to add a few extra spanks in as you are getting more aroused. Explore slowly, ramping up the intensity one notch at a time. When you are ready to dive deep into Sensation Play, make sure to get training so you don’t hurt one another.
4. Begin role playing.
Role playing goes way beyond costumes and fake accents. Erotic role playing is all about stepping into a new persona for a few hours and creating a new sexual experience — it's about exploring the drama of sexuality and bringing taboo and forbidden experiences to life.
Dirty talk is part of erotic role playing and is a great place to start. While you are having sex, introduce a little story to the mix. You can even do this privately in your own fantasy world if you are too shy to do it out loud at first. Who do you want to be? A celebrity having sex with her bodyguard? The sexy woman who has seduced her intern? A queen ready for a warrior to do her bidding?
In the world of kink, you can try on endless roles and enjoy the range of erotic energy these roles provide.
5. Exchange the power roles.
Erotic power exchange is one of the most universal turn-ons, yet most people are hesitant to explore power play in their bedroom. This makes sense — it is one of the most powerful sexual forces but also one of the most dangerous, especially in long-term relationships. Proceed with caution as you explore power play.
First, get clear that it is not the same as the very real power dynamic in your relationship. Erotic power play is a temporary, consensual exchange of power to create a specific erotic experience for both of you.
Start slowly by incorporating the smallest dynamics of power play into your sexual relationship. Simply saying something like “I want you so much, show me how strong you can be” can be an invitation for your lover to be a bit more dominant. If you know that erotic power play turns you on, check out the resources at the bottom of this article and get started exploring more kinky sex. Unleashing the arousing force of power play can completely spice up your sex life.
6. Bring in the bondage.
Skip the handcuffs, please! There are much more pleasurable (and safe!) ways to explore bondage. If you know you are aroused by bondage, invest in a good pair of cuffs that are designed for erotic bondage. They allow you to struggle and squirm safely so you can enjoy the pleasures of erotic bondage without injuring yourself.
7. Enjoy rough and tumble sex.
One of the hottest forms of kinky sex is rough sex. No props, no costumes, just raw primal energy. Many people find it thrilling to be tossed around, pinned down and thrown up against the wall. Do this with skill and it is electrifying — do it poorly and you risk injuring your partner. A little training goes a long way when it comes to rough sex.
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You can explore all of these kinky sex ideas in the privacy of your own home under our expert guidance with the Kinky Sex Mastery Online Course. Visit us at PleasureMechanics.com/kink to learn more and get started for free.