Fantasy Vs. Desire: The Crucial Difference

By

Fantasy Vs. Desire: The Crucial Difference
Discover the difference between a fantasy and a desire in order to get more of what you really want!

If you are ready to expand your erotic horizons and start exploring new parts of your sexuality, it is essential to draw a clear boundary between your desires and your fantasies. This article is adapted from The Fantasy Method: How To Discover Your Authentic Sexual Desires and Create a Fulfilling Sex Life by The Pleasure Mechanics.

Desire Vs. Fantasy

 

Many people try to open a conversation with their lover by saying something like “Tell me about your fantasies. . .” While this is a great question to ask, often couples get into trouble when they haven’t defined their terms.
The difference between Fantasy and Desire is incredibly important to establish and maintain. Establishing this difference will give you more freedom to explore Fantasy and more confidence in naming your Desires. You’ll be more likely to know what you authentically want, and much more likely to make those Desires a reality. We strongly urge you to maintain a very clear distinction between these terms, according to their dictionary definitions:

Fantasy:  the faculty or activity of imagining things, esp. things that are impossible or improbable

Fantasy is the realm where anything is possible, where you are free to imagine wild scenarios, extraordinary circumstances and superhuman powers.

Desire: a strong feeling of wanting to have something or wishing for something to happen.

Desires are those experiences that you find pleasurable and want more of in your actual life. Desires are specific elements from the world of fantasy and reality that you find fulfilling.

In Fantasy, anything is possible. The limits of reality do not apply. The bank account is endless, your health and safety are guaranteed. You are dropped into the blank slate of possibility, and the only limit is your imagination. In the realm of Fantasy, you can privately explore the outer limits without having to justify your thoughts to anyone, without any risk.

Something changes from a Fantasy to a Desire as soon as you want to make it real. Fantasies are not fulfilled - Desires are. Fantasies live in our imagination alone, Desires are part of our real physical lives. Pleasures may change from one category to the other over your lifetime, moving across the boundary as dictated by your life circumstance, physical abilities and your emotional and physical needs.

Keep reading...

More Juicy Content From YourTango:

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Pleasure Mechanics

Sex Educator

Ready to become a better lover and unleash way more pleasure? We're here to guide you every step of the way!

Exclusive Offer For YourTango Readers! Use the code YourTango to receive 20% off any of our online courses, designed so you can master new sexual skills and have the amazing sex you crave! www.PleasureMechanics.com

Location: New York, NY
Credentials: Other
Other Articles/News by Pleasure Mechanics:

5 Bits Of Erotic Wisdom That Boost Intimacy And Strengthen Love

By

I recently had the pleasure of interviewing Joan Price, an expert on "ageless sexuality" and author of the new book The Ultimate Guide to Sex After 50: How to Maintain or Regain a Spicy, Satisfying Sex Life. While she focuses on guiding seniors in having great sex lives, the wisdom she shared is relevant for us all. The truth is, the earlier you ... Read more

The ULTIMATE 10-Step Game Plan For Your Sexiest Weekend — Ever!

By

This guide assumes that you have the weekend to yourself. If you have kids, call in your favors and get a friend or relative to take over for the weekend. Shed the guilt — you'll be a better parent if you spend this weekend fueling up with erotic energy that will last for weeks to come.  You'll start with pampering and preparation, ... Read more

What Does Being Kinky Actually Mean?

By

"I'm not kinky, but I love getting spanked once in awhile" "I love rough sex and being choked, but I'm not into BDSM or anything like that" We get emails like this all the time over at PleasureMechanics.com, from men and women who don't identify as kinky and yet enjoy many of the activities under the kink umbrella. They ... Read more

See More

 
Latest Expert Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Most Popular