Fantasy Vs. Desire: The Crucial Difference

By

Fantasy Vs. Desire: The Crucial Difference
Discover the difference between a fantasy and a desire in order to get more of what you really want!

If you are ready to expand your erotic horizons and start exploring new parts of your sexuality, it is essential to draw a clear boundary between your desires and your fantasies. This article is adapted from The Fantasy Method: How To Discover Your Authentic Sexual Desires and Create a Fulfilling Sex Life by The Pleasure Mechanics.

Desire Vs. Fantasy

 

Many people try to open a conversation with their lover by saying something like “Tell me about your fantasies. . .” While this is a great question to ask, often couples get into trouble when they haven’t defined their terms.
The difference between Fantasy and Desire is incredibly important to establish and maintain. Establishing this difference will give you more freedom to explore Fantasy and more confidence in naming your Desires. You’ll be more likely to know what you authentically want, and much more likely to make those Desires a reality. We strongly urge you to maintain a very clear distinction between these terms, according to their dictionary definitions:

Fantasy:  the faculty or activity of imagining things, esp. things that are impossible or improbable

Fantasy is the realm where anything is possible, where you are free to imagine wild scenarios, extraordinary circumstances and superhuman powers.

Desire: a strong feeling of wanting to have something or wishing for something to happen.

Desires are those experiences that you find pleasurable and want more of in your actual life. Desires are specific elements from the world of fantasy and reality that you find fulfilling.

In Fantasy, anything is possible. The limits of reality do not apply. The bank account is endless, your health and safety are guaranteed. You are dropped into the blank slate of possibility, and the only limit is your imagination. In the realm of Fantasy, you can privately explore the outer limits without having to justify your thoughts to anyone, without any risk.

Something changes from a Fantasy to a Desire as soon as you want to make it real. Fantasies are not fulfilled - Desires are. Fantasies live in our imagination alone, Desires are part of our real physical lives. Pleasures may change from one category to the other over your lifetime, moving across the boundary as dictated by your life circumstance, physical abilities and your emotional and physical needs.

Keep reading...

More Juicy Content From YourTango:

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Pleasure Mechanics

Sex Educator

Ready to become a better lover and unleash way more pleasure? We're here to guide you every step of the way!

Exclusive Offer For YourTango Readers! Use the code YourTango to receive 20% off any of our 10 foreplay mastery or couples massage video guides! www.PleasureMechanics.com

Location: New York, NY
Credentials: Other
Other Articles/News by Pleasure Mechanics:

5 Lessons You May Have Missed During Sex Ed. Class

By

Over 10 years ago, I dedicated my life to sex education. I chose to spend my days teaching others (and myself) how to tap into more sexual pleasure, deepen intimate relationships and unlock the true potential of human sexuality. I run a sex education company with my partner, and together we have taught hundreds of thousands of men and women all around the ... Read more

Asexual Awareness 101: Debunking Myths And Misconceptions

By

I recently had the pleasure of interviewing asexuality expert Julie Sondra Decker, who has been a prominent voice for the asexual community since 1998. She most recently published The Invisible Orientation, a comprehensive look at asexuality. What I discovered in this conversation is that we all have something to learn from the asexual community. Asexual ... Read more

6 Ways To Explore The Softer Side Of Bondage

By

Are you overly stressed and spend all day making decisions? Feel like you have to stay in control or everything around you will crumble? Do you long for an erotic escape from the demands of your daily life? Yes? Honey, it may be time you tried bringing a little light bondage into your love life. Bondage is usually associated with rough, kinky sex. But there ... Read more

See More

 
PARTNER POSTS
Latest Expert Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Must-see Videos
SEE MORE VIDEOS
Most Popular