Photo: GaudiLab / Shutterstock
Because the direct approach won't always work.
By Paula Mooney — Last updated on Feb 22, 2023
There’s a guy you’ve had your eye on, but perhaps you’re the shy type — not the blatant kind of girl who flirts and blasts her feelings out loud.
Nor are you the type who wears her heart on her sleeve.
That poker face can be very beneficial to you. That way, the entire world doesn’t know your feelings and vulnerabilities.
Therefore, they can’t take advantage of the crushes they don’t know about.
At the same time, there’s a special guy that you do want to pick up on your subtle hints. So what kind of hints can you give him?
Here are five simple-but-effective strategies to let him know you dig him:
1. Smile at him
Guys don’t like a sourpuss all the time. They might get enough of that from other people. So a warm, friendly smile can go miles toward softening a heart.
Of course, some people hate to smile — not because they are being mean — but because they don’t like their teeth.
Before I had braces, my teeth stuck out to the point where I often wrapped my top lip down around them to hide my buck teeth. It’s a move I find myself still doing nearly 40 years later, although I’ve long since had my teeth fixed.
2. Look him in the eyes
Make a point to look at the guy deep into his peepers, and see what you see therein. What kind of soul is reflecting back at you? If he does the 10-minute eye-staring challenge with you, even better. He might be a keeper.
Either way, make a point of direct eye contact once in a while.
I’m the type who likes to look away from folks when I speak to them in order to gather my thoughts — and I’m not talking creepy staring for uncomfortable periods unless you’re that close to him — but at least glance into those eyes for a few lingering seconds.
3. Listen to him
Find out what he likes, dislikes, or thoughts when he does speak. Women tend to yammer on — in general — longer than men, so when he does say something, listen to his words.
4. Ask him questions
If he doesn’t talk much, ask follow-up questions about the words he does let fly. That way, you can dig deeper into his soul. Plenty of men need prompts in their conversations in order to discover more.
A lot of men also find it refreshing that someone would want to know that much about their lives and experiences, without droning on endlessly about your own life — so much so that you talk over him and miss vital points that another person may pick up on.
5. Give him the gift of silence
In between that Spanish Inquisition line of questioning, give him the gift of silence. There comes a point where you can be so comfortable around a guy you like that you can exude a quiet confidence that doesn’t need to yap on about your day, your life, your hair, etc.
It could be such a refreshing change that he takes the time to notice you — really notice you — and how you stand out from the sea of women.
He just might realize that he likes you just as much as you like him.
More for You:
Paula Mooney is a writer whose essays and articles have been featured in national print magazines such as Writer's Digest, and in major online publications like Yahoo, Examiner, and more.