I am betting that your current sexual paradigm is a far cry from where you started – Does ‘GET HARD – GET IN – GET OFF’ sound familiar?
But, have you considered your thrusting?
In lovemaking, more thrusting does not necessarily mean more pleasure. With stillness, a man’s penis will begin to direct him how to make love, when to move, when to be still.
For both partners, motionlessness has the psychological effect of quieting the mind, and it can also be used to moderate your arousal. During intense lovemaking, stop the thrusting, hold your body still and enjoy the sensations that had been camouflaged by the intensity of the thrusting.
(1) Consider insertion and then simply rocking back and forth. This works well when partners are in a sitting, or tantric yab-yum position. You may want to add synchronized breathing. Very arousing!
(2) Include some shallow thrusting in your lovemaking as it provides lots of mutual stimulation. The most sensitive nerve endings in the vagina are near the opening and 1-2 inches inside, which is also the snuggest part of the vagina with arousal.
A penis that is average or long may not adequately stimulate that area with only deep thrusting. Depending on the lovemaking position, shallow thrusting may also bring more stimulation to the g-spot.
(3) For the male, shallow thrusting allows constant stimulation of the head of the penis, the coronal ridge and the frenulum, all very sensitive areas. Many lovers enjoy several shallow thrusts before each full thrust.
(4) Deeper thrusting brings the man’s pubic bone in contact with the woman’s clitoral area and also pulls on the inner lips, which provides more stimulation to the clitoral area. Also, deeper thrusting may cause the penis to rub against the cervix which is often a very sensitive spot with women and may bring about cervical orgasms.
(5) Taoist masters recommend a thrusting method based on the number 9, which they associate with powerful, masculine, yang energy. Start with 9 shallow strokes and 1 deep, then 8 shallow and 2 deep, 7 shallow and 3 deep, etc. I do not recommend this practice as engaging your brain at this time may create a dissociation with your body. (But, if you choose to count and thrust, do not count out loud.)
(6) Along with changing the depth and rhythm of penetration, also vary the speed, and try a thrust and hold technique. Another variation is thrusting in a circular motion.
Use your intuition, your creativity, and enjoy!