How To Avoid The January Breakup Frenzy

By

How To Avoid The January Breakup Frenzy [EXPERT]
5 steps to protect your relationship from post-holiday season breakup mayhem.

A couple of decades ago, before I met my wonderful husband Mark, I was married to someone else. Our marriage wasn't going well, but I thought we were "working on it." Turns out, he wasn't.

We made it through January, but just barely. Shortly after Valentine's Day (I won't get into how that went), he announced his intention to separate. Looking back, it's clear our breakup was postponed to get through the holidays.

Social scientists have long documented that the greatest number of relationship breakups happen in January, post holidays. The reasons have not been fully studied, but it's not hard to figure out why.

By looking at the usual reasons for January breakups, you can strategize how to keep your relationship intact. Instead of being blindsided, you can take charge of your relationship and repair it ... or at least control how it ends.

The biggest reason for January breakups is that they were supposed to happen in October. Three months before it actually happened, someone was unhappy and making a decision to end the relationship. Then, he decided that he couldn't "do that to you" now. It's the holidays!

People are very reluctant to end relationships shortly before significant life events: the holidays, your birthday, Valentine's Day, New Year's, your anniversary, to name a few. Airline flights have been reserved, commitments made to friends and family for time spent togethe, and sometimes gifts purchased. All of that adds up to a mountain of obligations, and the easy path is to put it off.

Another issue is stress. People often break up in January because the stressful holiday season brought out issues that caused them to rethink their commitment. It's supposed to be a time of love, joy and connection. If your mate turns into the Grinch by being miserable most of the time, the disappointment can lead to thoughts of breaking up.

If your mate gets rip-roaring drunk at every holiday party and embarrasses you, you might rethink your commitment. If your visits to family uncover nightmarish family of origin issues, you might decide to keep looking for someone from a more stable background. Continue reading ...

More breakup advice from YourTango:

Article contributed by

Nina Atwood

Author

Nina Atwood, M.Ed., LPC
The Singlescoach®
Visit my website for FREE resources!
Visit my author page on amazon.com
Love Strategies Internet Radio
 

Location: Dallas, TX
Credentials: LPC
Specialties: Communication Problems, Couples/Marital Issues, Dating/Being Single Support
Other Articles/News by Nina Atwood:

Are You Settling In Relationships?

By

Note: This article is a follow-up to Don't Settle! It's Not Doing Either Of You Any Favors. Settling for less is a sign of giving up — on yourself, on your romance, and on the possibility of having a great relationship. Sometimes it is a symptom of underlying problems that haven't been addressed in the relationship. Sometimes it ... Read more

Don't Settle! It's Not Doing Either Of You Any Favors

By

I am currently in a Settle-For Relationship. My problem is I always get into these and don’t have the courage to back out of them so I always get to the commitment part and continue on. I have been with my girlfriend for 5 months now and I am not happy and I want to end it with her, but I can't do it due to guilt. I feel as though she won’t be ... Read more

The Real Reason Rejection Hurts So Much

By

If you have ever felt devastated by rejection, you are not alone. Recent research shows why: our brains don’t know the difference between the emotional pain of being rejected and actual physical pain. Erin dated John for six months. While he was still checking her out, she was falling deeply in love. Finally, he couldn't deny the reality: they ... Read more

See More

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.