The Pros And Cons Of Being Friends With Benefits

By

The Pros And Cons Of Being Friends With Benefits
Read this before you make your pal a bed buddy.

Here are some of the pros and cons you should be aware of before ever considering this relationship scenario, in honor of the upcoming film Friends With Benefits. In addition to our advice, you'll find the opinions of real men and women, who were kind enough to share how this situation has played out in their lives. Read on for the inside scoop on this tricky situation.

Pro: It's Easy
You already know him, the two of you hang out regularly, your hormones are raging, you're not seeing anyone special at the moment… and we all have needs. "When I was in university, a friend and I ended up being very compatible in the bedroom, which we discussed as being a natural extension of our friendship," says Bobby, 38. "At no point was there any pretense of love, relationships or even 'real' intimacy. It was quite simply friends who occasionally took their clothes off and did naughty things to each other."

Con: It's Too Easy
Whether you're too lazy to date or are afraid of being hurt, the scenario can easily become a crutch. "For me, 'friends with benefits' works only if you don't really care about [the guy]," says Aoi, 30. "Good relationships come from giving, but this type of relationship is more about taking." Plus, when you have all the sex you need at your beck and call, there's no incentive to get out there and meet potential suitors.

Pro: End A Stereotype
No commitment, no emotional baggage—a straightforward friends-with-benefits arrangement means casual sex without the responsibilities of a romantic relationship. With your independence intact, your life doesn't have to change all that much. Plus, since common belief holds that a woman can't have emotion-free sex, you'll feel like a renegade for breaking the stereotype.

Con: End A Friendship
On the flipside, acting totally comfortable with casual sex may lead your bed buddy to see you only as a means for sexual pleasure. "One of my longtime best friends and I decided to try this out once. And things got so awkward, we barely spoke for four months," says Natalie, 23. In this situation, sex oftentimes replaces other aspects of the relationship that you once enjoyed, like long weekend brunches or regular movie nights, not to mention the friendship itself.

Keep reading...

More Juicy Content From YourTango:

This article was originally published at Glo. Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

BigRedFlags .com

Author

If you look out for those big red flags, no one can say "I told you so." For more advice, check out the authors' dating guide The Little Black Book of Big Red Flags

Location: Xx, NY
Credentials: MA
Other Articles/News by BigRedFlags .com:

How to Celebrate Valentine's Day with a Sorta Boyfriend

By

So, maybe you're kinda-sorta seeing a guy, but you haven't quite DTR-ed (our shorthand for "defined the relationship") yet. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but things may go from casual to complicated as Valentine's Day approaches—especially if you and your guy have different expectations for how you'd like to spend the ... Read more

7 Tips for Surviving the Holidays with HIS Family

By

by Meagan McCrary Being invited home for the holidays by your beau is a major step in a relationship. But meeting the fam for the first time can be intimidating, especially if you’re staying with them. Follow these seemingly-obvious-but-too-often-forgotten guidelines for surviving the holidays with your boyfriend’s family. After all, there could ... Read more

6 Things You Do On Facebook That Turn Him Off

By

If a guy doesn't check you out on Facebook before your first date, he definitely will afterwards. While your profile and posting habits aren't a be-all end-all, they can push a man who's teetering toward calling it quits. After polling several men, we found six common Facebook faux pas that will cause a dude to re-evaluate the relationship and ... Read more

See More

PARTNER POSTS
Latest Expert Videos
Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Most Popular