Probably every one of us has experienced a relationship that's gone wrong, whether with a grade school buddy, a first love in high school, a marriage, a co-worker, a friend or even a family member. Since we're all adults here, let's talk about relationships in our 20s to 70s. I dare say the same remedies can often apply.
When you are clear that you can and want to fix a relationship, you've taken the most important first step. Clarity guides us to do what we know is possible. If you do not yet believe that you want and will fix the relationship, it would be wise to take as much time as you need for inner reflection. Whether you're going on a trip to Europe or are planning to renew your relationship, planning is required. Just as you probably wouldn't want to land in Paris without a place to stay and an itinerary, you will find the journey toward reconciliation more natural and workable if you have thought out a loving landing place ahead of time.
Remember the words and actions that caused the rift, and plan how to respond if you hear blame, anger, or other undesired responses to your reaching out. Keep in mind that each of you, then and now, were and are doing the best you know how at any moment to try to meet your needs. You would want this person to respect your needs, so you will want to understand and accept the ways he or she tries to meet his or her needs. Certainly, if he or she tried to meet needs through force or violence, you will hopefully know that behavior is not to be tolerated. If you fear the two of you can't work it out on your own, engage a counselor.
To start, if you want to be close again, share your wish to reconnect. You might call, email or send a letter saying one of these thoughts: