9 Benefits Of Dating Over 50

Sure, it was easier to find guys or gals to date when you were 20, 30 or 40, and it's gotten much more difficult now that you're in your 50s, 60s or older. Still, in the 34 years since my divorce, I've noticed things that have kept me placing and answering dating ads all these years. There are nine benefits to dating after 50. It's time for you to reap them all:

1. There is greater anticipation for romance. It can last from the first date until the end of the relationship, whether that's one week or three months. And isn't the need to feel special and romanced a universal desire?

2. You will feel more alive and engaged in life. Last night I noticed how animated I was when I shared information with three friends about my first date with one guy and third date with another.

If you're not dating right now and don't feel ready to jump back out there, this would be a good time to note ways that interaction with friends and family heightens your zest for life.

3. You will get to explore new places and interests. Roger was one of the first men I dated after moving from Iowa to Seattle in 1978. I told him that I loved lilacs, so when he invited me to dinner at his place, he gave me some craft store lilacs. I still have them in my bedroom.

I traveled with David, another man, to Vermont during autumn. Whenver we'd see a Halloween display in someone's yard, we'd stop to admire it. We went wine tasting and I still have a wine bottle as a valuable reminder of that trip. Now, seeing leaves turn gives me a dose of cherished wistfulness about that delightful trip.

More dating advice from YourTango:

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4. You'll have tons of fun. I enjoy trying out unusual things with new people, so dating after 50 is fun. Dates don't know your idiosyncrasies, so they may be amused by some of your habits or preferences. 

When Hal, a man that I felt was too old for me, offered to give me a wheelbarrow ride because I told him how fun my first ride was, I changed my opinion about him. I'd not gone fishing in years, but had fun doing it with Richard. I needed extra help relearning the sport and he was more than happy to show me the ropes.

5. Both parties are mature, so there are lowered expectations and less stress. Many of us have less of a need or wish to meet the expectations of others as we grow and mature. 

On our first date, Peter and I went to the arboretum, and sat near a heron on a pond. When the bird started walking, I followed a few feet behind, and was exhilarated to follow the bird halfway around the pond before it flew off. Peter captured the moment on camera, which made it even more special.

With Simon, it was a ride in his convertible and a salmon lunch he prepared on our first date that piqued my interest. We exchanged warm, connecting emails the next few days, but it was over before it even began.

Our first date was our only date because he got frustrated with my interest in discussing philosophical topics, such as an article I emailed on boundaries. I saw no point in taking it further when we had nothing in common. 

When Matthew and I gave each other foot rubs on our third date, I was delighted to observe the look of pleasure on his face. Choosing to go with the flow instead of having preconceived expectations is a great way to deal with life.

6. You'll be used to the numbers game. Since you've had experience, you won't be as upset about playing the numbers game. On paid dating sites like Match.com and free sites including Plenty of Fish and OKCupid,  I got more responses at 40 than I do as a senior. 

Yet, I've met about one man every month or so on average. I was in a friends-with-benefits relationship with Robert. for three years, and we both wished there were more romantic chemistry. We still enjoy our companionship today, though it's been several years since we've connected on a sexual level.

7. Reliving youth impresses friends and foes. You'll be acting young, which is impressive. I played racquetball several times with David, hiked on long trails with several men, danced the night away often, and participated in meetup.com groups.

8. There is less time to pout. When things don't go our way, it doesn't bother us as much at this age. We try to remember we're doing the best we can to get our needs met, so we don't take things personally. When someone says or does something that is agitating, you have the maturity and wisdom to try to connect rather than correct, which a principle of the workshops that I lead.

9. You will have nothing to prove. We can enjoy friendship or romance for as long as it lasts, with no need to worry or apologize about our choices.  On most days  we have the self-confidence to make peace with ourselves and let the less-than-positive aspects of our lives take a vacation. 

For 1 free coaching session on life, love, relationships, career — or wherever you’d like to see changes — call me at 206-938-8385 or go to my website.