And the funny part is you may not be even aware!
1. First Thought Is Always Negative.
Most people's initial thought when confronted with a crisis, is negative. And that is where the problem lies. Once the thought is negative, it spirals down to a whole range of negative emotions- anger, bitterness, and resentment. Happiness becomes impossible. Funny part is, once you are negative- everything around you will justify your feelings and prove you right.
2. Being Bitchy.
The second most potent tool for self-sabotage is to act out your negativity. In short, by translating your thoughts into action (Example: show your bitterness and anger through your piercing words, abrasive language, hostile body language, acting out of vengeance and showing it in your day to day acts) basically casts a web of grudges. It plays the blame game around your loved ones and chokes them to death (not literally but almost).
3. Living In The Past.
Instead of focusing on the present, you dig out skeletons from the past to redo your house's décor; not realizing it stinks and looks hideous. It will never let you move on and make you stuck at that same place for as long as you want to be there. Life is about moving on and letting go, but you haven't learnt that lesson still. Forgiveness requires courage and you still need to face the hard facts of life as an adult and grow up.
Making yourself the "eternal victim" and blaming the other person for all the wrong that you have experienced is the biggest illusion one can be trapped in for life. This can demoralize and cripple you completely, rendering you helpless to take charge of your life.
Giving in to self-pity is the surest way to ruin yourself. As long as you do not look at the situations and people with a practical, logical attitude & fair-mindedness, rather than being taken in by your overwhelming emotions, you will end up as a victim, always.
5. Lack Of Gratitude.
Whatever happens to us is a reflection of what's inside us. Life is merely a mirror of our intentions & aspirations. So not to be in gratitude for what you already have, takes away your power to manifest the best for yourself. Gratitude begets more gratitude and that is the gospel truth.
If you look at every bad experience as a lesson to be learnt that has helped you become a better soul, life will unfold more magic for you. Being in zero gratitude for your existing comforts, and blessings in life means you are never going to be happy with whatever might come to you in the future as well. Gratitude is empowering. It makes the impossible, possible.
Self-pain is a delusional process which lets you believe you are a hero because you are waging a war with yourself and with the world. It gives you a false sense of self-worth and can be really addictive. So to break the pattern and not allow suffering to sabotage your life is in your hands.