It may be something you really don't want to think about, but it's absolutely true: there are good liars and bad liars, and all sorts of in-between liars. By that I don't mean liars who are good people, I mean they are good at lying, and vice versa. When it comes to recognizing a cheating husband, it all depends on which part of the liar spectrum your particular liar lands on. If he's very good at deception, and even if you have other reasons to believe he's being unfaithful, the signs may be almost impossible to spot.
If he's not good at the fib and the deception, it will be easier to know what's going on. Or to think you know – always give him the benefit of the doubt, after all. But for most of us wives who suspect an indiscretion is happening, there are a few definite signs that we can count on to at least partially confirm our suspicions. It's hard to accept that the romance may have left a relationship, leading to infidelity, but it's something that must be confronted.
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Change In Sex Life
If your husband and you have an active sex life and you have a good idea of how his libido works, you'll be able to notice any change. If he's cheating, than chances are he may have to slow down a little, or a lot, at home with you. There are other reasons for going from 60 to zero, but you should know if there's a good reason. And if he decides that after all this time he'd like to try some exotic sexual practice or two, you have a right to be suspicious. You'll know if the idea came from a website or from a new partner in the sack.
This one is a tough call, but again, we'll assume that you know him well enough to know the truth. If he starts working out or jogging and never did before, if he suddenly becomes a vegetarian or a health food nut, if he decides to get that check-up after you've been nagging him for years – be suspicious. Maybe he's just realizing he's getting older, or maybe not. If he's ageing and feeling the reaction, you can commiserate and help him through it, but don't assume anything – talk about it.
Change In Appearance
Suddenly being concerned about how his body looks is a possible tell-tale sign of infidelity. This goes along with getting healthy, but there are other things to look for – jewelry, tattoos, all-over tans, facelifts, and so on. The same idea applies to his wardrobe – if he starts dressing differently, you might want to inquire as to why after so long wearing penny loafers and Dockers he's changed to Converse shoes and long baggy shorts. People can change, and sometimes innocently and for the better, but it doesn’t hurt to show him you want to understand him.
Strange Phone Calls
With cell phones on everyone's belt these days, landlines are becoming less common, but any odd calls should be noted. And of course notice the accompanying behaviors. If his cell rings and he steps immediately into the bathroom, try check the calls later. And obviously, calls at odd hours that never happened before are definite clues that an indiscretion might be occurring.
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If your husband used to come home, eat dinner, and crash in front of the TV until bedtime, that's your baseline for his normal behavior. All of a sudden, he has to go out after dinner for cigarettes, or to pick up something he desperately has to have, or is just going out at odd hours. These are signs that something is amiss, as are any other changes in habits – after all, we are all creatures of habit, and a change can be a hint that there is some stimulus for the change.
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