Is This Chemical Messing Up Your Love Life?

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how oxytocin is ruining your relationships
The so-called 'love hormone' may be why you fall head over heels in love too quickly.

Men are notorious for being the elusive partner. After the sexual rendezvous is over, a man may want to have nothing to do with a woman; he will go on to chase down another woman only to be bored in the end of the relationship. Then suddenly, she's chasing him down. This game of "cat and mouse" in dating seems to never end. I even see this within committed relationships. So what gives?

If you're tired of going from one casual hookup to another, it's possible you may be letting a little chemical called "oxytocin" get the best of you.

 

Oxytocin is often called the "love hormone," said to be released during intercourse — it encourages bonding and studies suggest that it's more powerful in women, causing them to attach to the men they have sex with. One study I read recently even suggested that too much oxytocin can cause men to withdraw. So oxytocin overdose can occur, causing men to feel less interested in bonding? There's also some evidence that the act of being rejected stimulates a part in our brain, which may cause us to chase the very thing that eludes us (so it would seem that "playing hard to get" actually works).

It's at the heart of why women often complain about feeling objectified. Women will complain about being "eye candy" and how they want to be more than someone's sex toy. But the truth of the matter is that men can feel objectified too, because women often have their sights on what a man can do for them. Women desperately want a husband, a prince charming, a person to fulfill all those romantic notions.

In this all too common scenario, one person may feel attached and therfore chase, while the other will run away. So, what to do? Keep reading ...

More sex advice from YourTango:

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Moushumi Ghose

Sex Therapist

Moushumi Ghose, MFT specializes in sex and relationships and is based in New York City and Los Angeles.

Mou is the host of The Sex Talk, a web-series dedicated to raising awarenes about sex, and sexuality, and has made several TV and media appearances including Hollywood Today The Girl Spot, Durex Condoms and Investigation Discoveries as a sex expert. 

Mou is the band leader, composer and voice of the rock band Ghosha.

Visit her website at www.LASexTherapist.com

Subscribe to The Sex Talk Series at www.TheSexTalkSeries.com

Listen to podcasts at Sex, Love and Rock 'N' Roll Radio.

Mou is the author of Marriage, Money and Porn, available on Amazon, and is currently writing her second book, about non-monogamous sex. 

 

Follow Moushumi on Twitter @MoushumiAmour and Facebook

Location: New York, NY
Credentials: LMFT, MA, MFT
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