The Psychology Of Attracting Women: Get In Her Head, Get The Girl

Love, Self

Women aren't always as complicated as we make them out to be.

The psychology of attracting women has long been rumored to be something difficult to crack. Women, after all, change their minds with frequency, saying one thing one minute and then something else the next. They are enigmas to many of us, leaving us perplexed by their actions. Yet, even with this, the psychology of attracting women is rather simple. You only need to do two things: worry about getting inside their heads (and not their pants) and pay attention.

How Women Think

Women, like you, are human. It's because of this that many of their actions are driven by their innate desire to never be hurt. Sometimes this causes them to act irrationally or make unfair assumptions. But, alas, this is part of the dating game. Don't forget that they put up with our stuff too.

Still, the psychology of attracting women isn't all that complicated because, in truth, women aren't as complicated as we've been led to believe. Sure, they've been painted as such — more mysterious than Stonehenge, more elusive than Big Foot, harder to figure out than that machine at the gym that no one knows how to operate. But, when you get down to it, most women want the same five things, and these things are simple:

  1. Women want adventure
  2. Women want respect
  3. Women want commitment
  4. Women want the freedom of choice — whether that choice involves choosing a career over staying home or choosing to be inconsolable after watching The Notebook
  5. Women want an equal — they want to be your partner, not your parent

Three Things You Think Are Attractive, But Aren't

At the root of the psychology of attracting women is knowing what does not attract them. This is particularly important on your first date — if a first date goes poorly, there's little chance that there will be a second date or any future at all.

Unfortunately, many first dates fail because men are unaware that three things they think are attractive are actually anything but. So, the next time you have a first date, refrain from:

  • Bragging: Yes, you want to impress your date, but when you overly brag to a woman you come across as one of two things: either conceited or annoyingly insecure. Either doesn't bode well for you. This doesn't mean you can't share that you were valedictorian or that you're the youngest executive at your firm, but don't go into incredulous stories about your days as a hand model, the time Julia Roberts said hi to you, but you know she was secretly flirting, or how you never started on JV basketball because your coach was jealous of your skills.
  • Acting High and Mighty: You may be rich, successful, and talented, but this doesn't mean you should treat others like they are somehow beneath you (because they're not). Women will pay particular attention to how you treat the wait staff: do you talk down to them or leave a crappy tip? Your date will notice if you do. So, keep that in mind and remember that having the keys to a Porsche or Ferrari doesn't give you the right to act like you also have the keys to the Kingdom of Asshole.
  • Being Sexist: Women don't have to be feminists to be offended by sexism. Even girls who laugh at a sexist joke will likely be annoyed by the man who is a true chauvinist. Still, remember that sexism doesn't have to overt to be offensive: mentioning to your date that you expect your wife to stay at home and raise the children is enough for some women to label you as living in the 1950s. Then, they will also label you as not worth it.

Why Confidence Seals The Deal

The last portion in the psychology of attracting women involves confidence. Perhaps the most powerful thing in your dating arsenal, confidence has the power to seal the deal. The reason for this is fairly simple: women want men to be men; they want a guy who isn't afraid to take control, make decisions, and do the proverbial heavy lifting. This isn't to say that women want to be bossed around — most do not — but they also don't want to be the person who has to put all the effort into the relationship. They want a union where both parties take, but also give. Only men who have confidence have the ability to do this. Men without confidence, on the other hand, often sit on the sidelines, too afraid to take control or make a move. And, without confidence, the sidelines is a where they'll be sitting for years to come.

To learn more about the psychology of attracting women, click here.


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