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Dr. Adam Ostrzenski, a surgeon and retired professor of gynecology working in St. Petersburg, has reported that he has been able to find the G-Spot in a cadaver. Verifying the existence of the G-Spot has been a controversy for decades and I find the scientific search for it charming and interesting, but the way discussions about the G-Spot unfold tend to frustrate me and, I believe, highlight some of the damaging ways we approach sex in our culture.
Firstly, the search for the G-Spot and the argument that it exists or it doesn't exist all stem from one assumption — that all women's bodies must be the same. Either there is or is not a G-spot. If there is, then some women just haven't noticed theirs yet. If there isn't, than the thousands of women who claim to find pleasure from G-spot stimulation are wrong about their experience. Being Depressed Can Ruin A Man's Sex Drive
This assumption that our bodies are interchangeable is hurtful to our sexuality on so many levels. It is disempowering in that it requires us to look externally, to science or doctors or more sexually experienced friends, to find information about our own sexual pleasure. But we won't find the answers there.
The answers about our own bodies are for us to find by paying attention to our self, by being curious about our own body and what we feel. Yet, what I hear again and again from clients are experiences with doctors who have told them that the sensations they describe "don't make sense" or even "physically can't be happening."
No wonder people feel like they can't trust their own internal guidance about sex. I think it is really exciting to hear what Dr. Ostrzenski has found and the questions that arise from it, and I deeply support sexual research. I just wish we could hold the possibility that whatever we find may not be true for all bodies, and that we may all be unique with multiple paths to pleasure. 3 Ways To Squeeze In More Sex
The next response to this recent G-spot spotlight that concerned me is based on a quote from a surgeon, Dr. Kilchevsky who also investigated the G-spot. He was quoted as saying, "Finding a G-spot isn't going to help women understand their bodies. If anything, it might upset women if they feel they can't experience it."
Now, I haven't spoken to Dr. Kilchevsky, nor do I have the original context for this quote. However, the underlying implication of this statement is familiar to me and frightening. The implication I hear is that sexuality is such a fragile issue, we women need to be protected from too much information about it or our bodies.
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