How To Have Lust In A Long-Term Relationship

By

How To Have Lust In A Long-Term Relationship

When it comes to sexuality and sexual expression, some of us were raised in traditional families with traditional beliefs and others are much more open and embrace erotic thinking, passionate conversation and want more of that in our lives. Sex, like politics is one of those topics where everyone has an opinion.

Yet unlike politics, what you see is no guarantee of what you’ll get. Many conservative people have non-traditional sex lives (although perhaps with one person over a lifetime) and many liberal people are comfortable with traditional sexual behavior. How someone embraces their sexuality is a matter of personal preference, experience and choice. What can be said across the board is that if a couple isn’t talking about their sex life, it can become dull, boring and stale. Worse, this can happen to couples in happy marriages, who claim to love each other deeply.

 

Bottom line: love does not equal good sex and deep intimate connections can produce boring sexual encounters. Last weekend I had the privilege (and pleasure) of speaking to one of the country’s top thinkers on sexuality and eroticism, her name is Esther Perel. To say that Esther is a breath of fresh air is an understatement. A New Yorker by experience and a European by birth, Esther has a unique take on the state of our bedrooms today. She isn’t afraid, reticent or bashful about discussing what’s impeding good sexual connections for couples and singles alike. For singles, the topic of good sex is important yet not something every single person takes seriously. Many are having spotty sexual encounters here and there, if they’re having sex at all. From Esther’s perspective, learning how to create an erotic sex life begins when you’re single because early sexual encounters are alive with passion.

Anyone in the therapy or coaching biz can tell you that when someone is unhappy about their sex life, it’s usually because they are looking back and remembering a “better time” often from the beginning of their relationship when lust, passion and heat were easy to come by. Add a few kids to the story, a stressful job or simply life itself, and sexual encounters change. Men and women who are cognizant of the power of passion can create a road-map to return to when passion inevitably wanes later in a relationship. As a married person, this simply wasn’t something we talked about when we were dating, frankly because sex was easy back then. The articles or advice I looked for were on where to meet a good guy, not how to keep one once I had him.

Next: Sex is the glue that keeps couples together...

More Juicy Content From YourTango:

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Melanie Gorman

Business Coach

Melanie Gorman, M.A.

SR. VP YourTango Experts

http://www.yourtango.com

www.twitter.com/melanie360

Melanie@yourtango.com

Phone: 410-923-6905

Location: Crownsville, MD
Credentials: MA
Specialties: Career, Communication Problems, Empowering Women
Other Articles/News by Melanie Gorman:

Want To Beat The Odds? Here's How To Make Your Love Last [VIDEO]

By , , , ,

It's a no brainer that when it comes to love and relationships, we all want something that's going to last. But even though wanting to be happy is a basic human instinct, making sure that we get there is easier said than done. After all, relationships are complicated enough when you have to worry about yourself, let alone be nervous about what your ... Read more

13 LIES People Tell Themselves Before ACTUALLY Becoming Parents

By

While it’s true that anyone can make a baby, surviving the challenges of infancy and toddlerhood is enough to make a good person crack. I know, I’ve been there.  We all hear copious amounts of advice about how to be a great parent and let's be honest, most of isn't just unrealistic—it’s total crap.  Maybe ... Read more

How Body Language Can Up Your Dating Game (Says Science) [VIDEO]

By , , , ,

So we've probably all heard this before but how you carry yourself can make a major impact on how the world sees you. We get it. But for some reason, we don't take that into consideration when it comes to our love and sex life. As crazy as it may sound, your body language can totally make the difference in just how well you get along with your partner ... Read more

See More

 
My Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Must-see Videos
SEE MORE VIDEOS
Most Popular