It's better to be unhappy now than unhappy for the rest of your life.
When I learned about his infidelity, I thought I was doomed to a lifelong sentence of victimhood. To my surprise, less than two years later I no longer feel like a victim — I feel like a survivor. Now, I want to show you how you can be a survivor, too.
When you first find out about an affair, life seems like it's not yours anymore. It's as if you've been transported into one of those reality TV shows you get sucked into week after week, dying to know what happens next. Only, with this particular show, you don't want to know what happens next.
At first, you don't know what to do, what to believe, or what to think. I remember going through the motions. I just wanted to wait and see what would happen. My life had become so unpredictable. When the affair was out in the open, my mind took over in the pain deliverance.
It was agony to go through the process of recovery, but I'm so glad that I did. And with these two steps, so can you.
1. Allow yourself to feel the pain in its entirety.
Your mind and body know what to do to deal with tragedy. Fighting it will only make you physically ill. It's your body signaling that you aren't allowing it to heal. Resisting your body to heal further could cause you to feel pain longer, or you may end up manifesting it in other ways.
For example, have you ever seen individuals who are quick to negatively react to situations? They always complain. They will never be happy with their relationships. Unresolved issues can be devastating to your future.
Remember: It's better to be unhappy now than unhappy for the rest of your life. So how do you feel the pain? Experience it. When you want to cry, let the tears flow freely until you don't feel like crying anymore.
2. Reach out to your friends and family for support.
It can be difficult to go through the rage and sadness alone. Having someone who understands you can help you cope with your pain. If you don't have close people in your life that you can lean on, consider getting a therapist or life coach. These professionals can help you understand why you're feeling this way and help you recover. While it's agony, it truly is making you a stronger person.
This article was originally published at Relationship Repair Coach. Reprinted with permission from the author.