Being single at any age can be challenging in a world that seems to place so much importance on finding the love of your life and becoming a couple. The whole world seems to be geared up to support you in this quest. There is very little support given to those who are consciously choosing to be spend time alone, learning to enjoy their own company and the creativity it sparks. There is almost a sense of failure or that there is something wrong with un partnered people which is really quite ridiculous, especially since more and more people are realizing that the partnerships they formed early in life, have failed to pass the tests of time and they themselves are now living the single life.
So you are single for whatever reason -here are ten tips for making the most of being single...
Number 1 most important thing to do is relax. Your singledom will not last a lifetime. Well it will if it is meant to but this is a very rare karma. The worst thing you can do is panic and think you have to find someone immediately or your life is over. This air of desperation is by far the most debilitating energy to bring into a new relationship with yourself or with anyone new for that matter. It makes you blind to obvious red flags and puts you in all kinds of compromising situations. So once again - take a breath, be happy to have been given this special opportunity to get to know yourself. Look at it this way - if you are uncomfortable spending time alone with you what makes you think anyone else will feel comfortable spending time with you ? This can be quite a challenge to someone that has continuously filled up their lives with someone elses only to discover they really don't know or like themselves at all. Having a relationship with yourself is exactly like having a relationship with someone else. You have to be supportive, caring, understanding, and yes you have to learn to listen and communicate with yourself and your inner guidance. Sometimes the only way to get you to listen to yourself is to force this "time alone" upon you.
Number 2 - Stay clean.Forget about coming home or staying home plastered, stoned or disconnected - not a good recipe for a successful relationship with yourself or anyone else for that matter. No sorry folks this is a sobering experience but trust me it will start to grow on you if you just give it a chance. Why not take this time alone to get the help and support you need to beat your addictions once and for all. If you can't do it for yourself - you won't do it for anyone else. You know the drill...the time is now!.
Number 3 - Give yourself a chance - being happy alone does not happen overnight especially if you are a recovering codependent ( please google it if you are new to this term) There will be times that you feel you are invisible, no one will ever love you, you are wasting your life, your life is passing you by... and a whole lot of other negative self talk. Best thing to do - take yourself for a walk or even better on a date. Learn how to cheer yourself up. The better you get at being alone, the better you will be at being in relationship. For some it is extremely difficult to cater to your own needs. Are you one of these people that will happily cook if someone is over but if it is just you - crackers and peanut butter will suffice? Make the effort to cook for yourself - seriously. This is one of the most self loving things you can do for yourself. Cook yourself something new each week, each day even. You deserve it!
Number 4 - Study something new. Wow what a perfect time in your life to go to night school or study online or completely change career tracks. Figure out what you are passionate about and go for it. There is no one to hold you back but yourself. Not sure what you are passionate about - spend more time alone - it will come to you. Give yourself a chance to listen to your inner voice. This process can take time and you really have to be patient with yourself.
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