5 Ways To Use Porn For Better (And HOTTER!) Sex

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Don't be so quick to judge...

In the last few years, many countries have sought to limit or make porn illegal, including Canada

Sometimes these laws have good intentions, including further limiting child pornography, which is never consensual and never OK.

However, they often go further by seeking to limit violent and aggressive pornography, but with an extremely wide definition of "violent", so that a film featuring consensual spanking may become illegal in some jurisdictions.

On top of that, these laws don't consider that pornography can be used in a healthy way.

 

Pornography (and here I include all mediums not just films) can also enhance sexuality and sexual relationships.

Research on pornography is scarce, but a recent study highlights 3 types of pornography user. 75% of the study group fell into the "recreational user" category. 

These are people who use pornography to enhance their sexual lives and have no issues related to pornography. That means the vast majority of porn consumers are using it in a healthy way.

When people come to see me to help them enhance their sex lives, I sometimes recommend using pornography together.

Here are my top 5 ways to use pornography as a healthy part of your sexual life:

 

1. Watch pornography together.


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Watching a hot and sexy movie together can raise the sexual energy between you. You can be voyeurs together. 

 

2. Send your lover some pornography (book, movie or free erotica online) in order to introduce him to something new that you would like to do together.

If you find it hard to raise the subject of something new, this is a way to do it softly. If hardcore pornography feels like too big a step, have a look at my eBook 74 Smokin’ Hot Movies that are not X rated. 

 

3. Take a scene out of your favorite pornographic movie and enact it.


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First watch the movie together (HOT). 

Then talk about how you will role play the scene (HOTTER) and then enact the scene (HOTTEST).

 

4. Use pornography for masturbation when you are on your own.

This is one of the healthiest ways to use pornography. It sparks the imagination and can make masturbation more interesting, and for some who are very visual, easier.

A good portion of the 75% mentioned in the research above use pornography in this way without being compulsive or overly distressed about their pornography use. 

Most people in relationships continue to masturbate regularly. 

Those who are having a lull in sexual activity within the relationship are likely to masturbate more.

This can take the pressure off the relationship and allow for time to work through whatever is causing the lull in the sexual part of the relationship.

 

5. Use pornography to begin exploring together. 


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If your sex life together has become very routine, pornography can help to spark ideas and bring you out of that rut.

I am primarily auditory and kinesthetic so I find reading sex filled stories will start my imagination roaming and my juices flowing faster than watching movies but everyone is different.

Hearing my lover read a spicy story can spark an orgasm and a new interest at the same time.     

 

If you have concerns about whether people who are acting in the films you are watching are being exploited, try watching ethical pornography (yes this is a real thing). 

Much of this is produced by women. Actors involved are there because they want to be. They have regular health checks, engage in safe sex and are paid a living wage.

Not all porn is bad and, if used correctly, it can make your sex really, REALLY good.

 

Dr. Lori Beth is a sex/intimacy coach and psychologist who helps individuals, couples and polyamorous groups create their ideal lasting relationship(s). She works with people who are having sexual difficulties to help them resolve these and create satisfying authentic sexual lives. You can sign up for her newsletter and find out more about her adventures on her website and check out The A to Z of SexÒ podcast on iTunes. Write to her with your questions by clicking here

 

 

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