Don't let the love of your life become your roommate!
On my social media network, I asked thousands of men and women of various ages and backgrounds what women do that drains passion from their love life. Here's what they had to say:
1. You have a bad attitude.
There are women who think the world owes them something. Complaining is a daily or even an hourly event. They sneer at their loved one, rarely smile and are just plain out mean. No man (or woman!) wants to be part of that.
Their disposition will rub off on their loved one in one of two ways: they will end up leaving them or disconnecting from them. Who wants to end up lonely and bitter? No one I know.
2. You don't even try to look good.
Gaining a few pounds is no big deal — it happens when we get more comfortable in our relationship. What we can't do is stay in our sweatpants and t-shirt all day, every day, and forget to wash our hair for a week.
No one is perfect and we shouldn't expect them to be. However, there is a time and place to step it up and look good — even if it's just for ourselves. There's a difference between going comfy casual in the evening and wearing the same outfit to dinner.
It feels good to get dressed up, even if it's an event at home. Watch your partner take notice when you tell him — it was just for you honey.
There's a reason shows like "What Not To Wear" were created. Too many women have fallen prey to the casual lifestyle as a total way of life, instead of just an option.
3. You don't pay attention to your partner.
It's so easy to get caught up with family, career, and other interests. We are meant to live a full life. However, over time, our world can get out of balance and we just assume our loved one will always be there.
Watch for no-no's like sleeping in another room because it's more comfortable, constantly putting family activities in front of your alone time together, or doing too much of your own thing. It takes a conscious effort but it's well worth the time to make sure he's your number one during some time each day.
Remember: We're not just room mates — we're life partners.
4. The sex is boring or non-existent
"I'm just too busy right now." "I'm exhausted." "I don't feel well."
We have either said or at least thought about saying these. This part of our life takes effort. It's hard to gear up for love-making when life takes all our energy. But, for the well-being of the relationship, it must be an integral part of your alone time with him.
Couples need to have a little more fun and explore this aspect of their life too. Some of the busiest people have to make time for it, which may seem to ruin spontaneity, but do what you must because this is not just a friendship — it's a relationship.
5. You have no sense of humor
Loosen up a bit! Relationships are supposed to be fun! There's nothing more annoying then being a wet blanket. Life is too short. Humor is a well-known stress reliever and helps lighten the load of serious issues we face on a daily basis.
Peter McGraw, Ph.D. says, "Not surprisingly, funny people receive positive attention and admiration. Your ability to create and appreciate humor also influences who wants to date, mate and befriend you. Most studies find humor to be a highly desirable attribute, which explains why the acronym GSOH (good sense of humor) finds its way into personal and online dating posts."
Our lives are busy and chaotic. But, laughing with your partner adds zest and a stronger connection to each other.
6. Not being playful
"Where's the fun, flirty girl I once knew?" he said.
"Buried in laundry, a career and running in twenty different directions," she exclaimed!
If this sounds familiar, boredom is soon to follow. Everyone is busy so why not make life a little more exciting?
Raise his eyebrow and throw a few undergarments at him. Just make sure they look decent. If we have to cook, we might as well tease him while we're doing it. A few quick kisses and a tap on the butt never hurt anyone's love life.
Be creative and remember, you're in this for the long haul so you might as well have fun doing it.
Let's remember, love is a two-way street. It's easy to get caught up in the rush of daily life. Be aware, even diligent about making our significant other a priority, or we lose the romance that brought us together in the first place.
Lori Peters is a radio show host, writer, and speaker in happiness and well-being. She serves adults who are interested in keeping their happiness levels up and writes about happiness and relationships focusing on those over 35. Check out her free resources, services and sign up for her monthly newsletter at the Happiness Hangout.