Oh No She Didn't! What We Can Learn From Frenemies


National Friendship Day: What We Can Learn From Frenemies
Learn how to release toxic frenemies to love yourself better.

I believe healthy female friendships are the best relationships for self-development, building self esteem and confidence — and a great practice field for improving our communication skills for all relationships in love and life. However, when the relationship is toxic, all of those benefits can quickly reverse, leaving us questioning everything we thought we were making progress with, including mental, emotional, physical and career health.

A true gal pal is someone you feel comfortable confiding in and who appreciates you for who you are, not just for the things you do for her. She has your back and you have hers. You share core values, like honesty, integrity and gratitude; these are things you truly want and expect in a friend, and what you provide to her as well. Your relationship is healthy and drama-free. Neither takes advantage of the other and you both feel appreciated and valued in the friendship. Although your core values are similar, some of your opinions may differ dramatically and this makes for great conversation and new perspectives.


You can feel comfortable telling her your raw feelings about what's going on in your life and listening to her, providing support and helpful suggestions. Good female friends grow to be better people and live their lives with higher self esteem and greater confidence, strengthening their romantic relationships and family ties as well. The benefits of a healthy women friendship are numerous.

Frenemies, on the other hand, are toxic and detrimental friendships that usually develop over time, usually after the toxic person becomes a trusted friend. They are enemies masquerading as friends, and can wear down your self esteem and leave you doubting yourself in areas where you previously exuded confidence. This toxicity can stall or put your self-development in reverse, instilling doubt and fear that you have any value, or are appreciated at all. In fact, this is a frenemy's purpose; her low self esteem is bolstered by her perception of control over you.

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Article contributed by

Kelly Rudolph

Life Coach

Kelly Rudolph
Certified Life Coach | Certified Hypnotherapist | Founder of Positive Women Rock | Speaker | Presenter

Life Coach Kelly Rudolph walks her talk and implements her own personal growth plan on a dialy basis, translating into greater understanding, experience and strategies for her clients.

Her personal story is one of tragedy-to-triumph that inspires and empowers at PositiveWomenRock.com

Sign up for her FREE Life Strategies.

Location: La Jolla, CA
Credentials: ACC, CHT
Specialties: Empowering Women, Self-Esteem, Stress Management
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