The Dirty Dozen! 12 Fatal Relationship Errors


Do you recognize any of these errors from your own relationship?
12 funny, but true, mistakes people often make in relationships.

While these are basically written tongue-in-cheek, each has an element of truth to it as something people do when in a relationship and then they have difficulty understanding why things aren't going well with their partner.

  1. Do not grab your partner in the breast or crotch and think that constitutes foreplay. Is Steamy Text Messaging The New Foreplay?
  2. Do not tell your partner she looks fat in anything, even when she asks.
  3. Do not sarcastically tell your partner he should have asked for directions when you suspect he may be lost.
  4. Do not contradict your partner in matter how much he is exaggerating.
  5. Do not stalk your loved one. When you check cell phone calls, emails and follow him or her on their evening/weekend activities, you are not exactly communicating a message of trust.
  6. Do not complain to friends, family or co-workers about your loved one. Long after you have forgiven him or her, your friends and family are still holding a grudge. If you must vent about your partner, tell a stranger on the street.
  7. When your woman is venting about a problem she is experiencing, do not suggest she might prefer being alone while she is upset. Just listen and nod your head, throwing in an occasional, "Oh baby, I'm so sorry that happened to you."
  8. When your man is upset, stop pressuring him to "talk." Talking is not what he needs to do. Bring him a beer instead and then leave him alone to work it out.
  9. Do not decide that the middle of the football playoff game is the best time to have a serious "talk." When football is on, nothing short of a natural catastrophe at your home will take precedence and maybe not even that!
  10. Stop setting up your partner by expecting him to read your mind. He can't! How Do You Set Realistic Expectations In A Relationship?
  11. Stop thinking your partner means what she says. Try to read between the lines to discover what she is really saying. "I would do that" usually means "I'd really rather not."
  12. When all else fails and you decide to hire a hit man, don't pay with a credit card or personal check. You may end up with a partner who is worse than the one you already prison!

Why It's Important To Be Nice

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Now, you may be laughing, but often things are funny when we can see the truth in them. You may recognize yourself, your current partner or past relationships in some of these errors. The thing to do is ask yourself what could you do instead that would be more respectful and loving. We are talking about your most significant relationship of choice! How does this person deserve to be treated by you? What kind of lover do you want to be? When you are in a relationship it is important to treat your partner the way they would want you to treat them, not necessarily how you would want to be treated in a similar situation.

More from YourTango: The Cheerios Commercial: Is Interracial Marriage Still Taboo?

When you love someone, you want to create a safe space for them to just "be" in the world. Your relationship with your partner should be that safe haven where everything is all right or at least you know your partner will create a space where it will be all right again very soon. Let me know your plan for neutralizing some of the errors in your relationship!

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Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Kim Olver


Kim Olver, LCPC, has been featured in Whole Living, Women's World, Fitness Magazine and Counseling Today and is the best-selling, award winning author of Secrets of Happy Couples: Loving Yourself, Your Partner, and Your Life.

Connect with Kim by signing up for her FREE InsideOut Relationship Advice Newsletter and receive a FREE recording about our Life Changing Process, InsideOut Empowerment and have access to FREE relationship assessments.

Check out new products that might be for you in my Webstore

Location: Country Club Hills (Chicago), IL
Credentials: LCPC, MS, NCC
Specialties: Communication Problems, Couples/Marital Issues, Empowering Women
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