ProConnect

How A Kiss Can Save Your Relationship

By

How A Kiss Can Save Your Relationship [EXPERT]
Put your lips to work when you're ready to rekindle your romantic relationship.
Find out how regular, passionate kisses can help keep the spark alive in your relationship.

When couples come in to see me for counseling, I ask many of the following questions: How often are you having sex, if at all? What values do you share? How long have you been struggling? However, one of the most important questions I ask is, How often do you kiss? The answer to this question gives me a lot of information about a couple's connection. How Do You Set Realistic Expectations In A Relationship?

A romantic relationship involves sexual intimacy. A friendship does not. If you are married to someone and you have no sexual intimacy, you are in a friendship not a romantic relationship. You will need to decide if you want to change that.

A simple kiss is a powerful thing. When I talk about sexual intimacy, I'm not just talking about intercourse. Kisses are very intimate, especially kisses on the mouth. Remember Vivian's rule in Pretty Woman? She'd do just about anything, but no kissing on the mouth. Why? Kissing on the mouth was just too intimate.

It's also crucial to make it a "good kiss." No matter how busy your life is, the time it takes to be in the moment with a kiss for your partner will not derail your schedule.

Keep in mind that hugs are great, too. I strongly encourage any couple who is having a hard time with their physical connection to incorporate hugs into their routine. Just understand that a kiss is more powerful and necessary to the viability of any romantic relationship. How To Text With Care

One of the greatest things you can do to keep that intimacy alive is to kiss on a regular basis. I'm talking about kissing on the lips, not just a peck on the cheek or the forehead. You can save your pecks for your Aunt Ethel. Kiss when you say goodbye in the morning, when you come home at night, when you go to bed, when you're leaving on a trip and when you come home.

Surprise each other with kisses on the fly. Even give a sleeping spouse a kiss when you leave or come home at odd hours. Every time you kiss, you will be showing the other person how special he or she is to you. Kissing will also help reaffirm your attachment to them.

Too often, people tell me that they feel like they're just friends with their spouse. They say that there is no longer any touch in their relationship. They talk about being really great roommates. When a relationship has gotten to this stage, couples often try to get back into the routine of having sex. Starting with hand-holding, hugs and kisses is the more gentle way to reintroduce that intimacy. 8 Tips To Thrive In An Empty Nest

Both partners need to feel comfortable with this level of intimacy before they can reintroduce sex into their relationship. Once a couple becomes comfortable with kissing, they may even find that more intimate steps just follow along naturally.

If you find your relationship faltering or turning into a roommate situation, refocus it with a kiss. Once you both commit to prioritizing yourselves in this way, things will begin to shift and you will find that old intimacy rising once again.

For More Great Couplehood Advice:

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Kate Evans

Counselor/Therapist

In my practice I help women rediscover their inner strength and overcome the fears and sadness that can come with forgetting to care for youself in addition to everyone else.

I'm looking forward to helping you. Give me a call for a free 30-minute phone consultation.

Location: St Charles, IL
Credentials: LCPC
Specialties: Divorce/Divorce Prevention, Empowering Women, Sexuality
Other Articles/News by Kate Evans:

Three Tips To Help You Manage Stress And Breathe Easier

By

Do you constantly feel overwhelmed? Does it feel like you're never on top of your to-do list? Mental health counselor and therapist Kate Evans has some good news: you're not alone! People all around us struggle with balancing everything — even the ones who seem like they have it all together. So how can you get a better handle on everything ... Read more

Self-Love: Can A Woman Find Herself After 50?

By

Do you put the needs of your kids and significant other before your own? Are you worried that you're incapable of loving yourself? If so, help is on the way. In this video, counselor and YourTango Expert Kate Evans says that it's a common issue among older women. "There are so many women who dedicate themselves to their family, to their ... Read more

Why Do I Feel Obligated To Have Sex With My Husband?

By

Do you go through the motions when you have sex? Is your spouse starting to resent you for it? If so, help is on the way. In this video, therapist and YourTango Expert Kate Evans explains what happens when sex with your partner starts to feel more like something on your daily to-do list than an intimate experience. "The truth is that the demands of ... Read more

See More

Recent Expert Posts
Couple Cooking Healthy Dinner

Your RD’s Top 25 Things To Do/ Not To Do to Be Healthy

Your RD’s Top 25 Things To Do/ Not To Do to Be Healthy

Distant Woman

Is Resentment Ruining Your Marriage?

Practicing forgiveness signifies breaking the cycle of pain and not allowing wounds to fester.

Om Girl

Waiting with Intention

Whether you are waiting to adopt or for the relationship of your dreams, waiting can be HARD.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
HOT STUFF!
FROM OUR PARTNERS