Spanking is a pretty common desire (on both sides of the ass smacking ;)
Spanking is a pretty common desire (on both sides of the ass smacking ;) and it’s a sexy activity with a wide range of approaches. It can be kinky, but it doesn’t have to be. It can be part of power play, but that might not have anything to do with it for you. Or it might be simple about the physical sensations. If you want to spank, or be spanked, it’s good to take a few minutes to think about what you’re looking to get out of it.
Power Play – Both men & women have desires to submit sexually to their partners. Having an evening of being a ‘sexual servant’ and focusing on your partners pleasure and being commanded to do just that, is extremely hot. On the flip side, ‘doing what you want’ to your partners body can feel powerful which can be an aphrodisiac. It’s also fun to play around with ‘punishments’ for the naughty partner to be lovingly ‘correct’ regarding ‘bad’ behavior. Of course this is all between consenting adults, hence my use of ‘apostrophes’ to describe this kind of sexy play.
Kinky – Maybe it feels taboo to put your partner over your knee, or to feel helpless dangling in an over the knee position, waiting for the spanking to come. Role-play is a great sexual situation to introduce spanking, using the safety of being a different character to get the spanking going.
Physical Sensations – Frequently it has nothing to do with either Power Play or Kink. For many, it’s simply the feeling of warmth created on the ass cheeks with each smack. Spanking can activate all kinds of never endings in your most sexually stimulating areas, so it can be an excellent physical turn-on. For the one doing the spanking, if you choose any kind of over-the-knee positions (of course there are other positions too!) having your partner body to body and squirming in such a sexy way.
Regardless of your motivation for addition spanking to your bedroom repertoire, here are some tips to heighten sensations and stimulate intimacy.
1) Make sure you’re spanking correctly. It may seem simple, and well, it mostly is, but only once you’ve gotten the proper technique down. Striking the wrong areas is guaranteed to create bad-pain as opposed to sexy-pain and that’s a sure way to make it a bad experience. Learn where and how to spank so you both enjoy the play which will set you up to enjoy it in the future!
2) Start slow! It is a rare individual or can take a hard, strong whack on the first go. You’re better off getting the spanking going with lighter touches and then build the intensity. It’s hard to go back-wards once you’ve spanked to hard, but allowing the sensation to develop will be a great way to learn limits and figure out where the ‘sweet spot’ for each of you is.
3) Use your hands! I know it can be enticing to jump into using those sexy leather paddles at places like Good Vibrations & the Pleasure Chest but if you’re just starting out there are a few particularly good reasons to use you always ‘handy’ spanking implement. As the spanker, you’ll be able to get a good feeling for what your partner is physically experiencing. The sensations of warmth and slight soreness will be shared so you won’t go further than is comfortable for the both of you. If you’re on the receiving end of those sexy smacks feeling the skin of your partner against your increasingly tender back side will give you (and your partner) a strong sense of connection.
4) Speaking of your hands, vary the sensations! When you’ve learned the different spanking techniques you’ll be able to modify how your partner feels the spanking. Some sexy smacks will be thuddy and some will be stingy so you can switch things up. Use rhythm to emphasize the contrast of feelings. Try it slow and steady, or more percussive or go back and forth between the two. Plus, you can’t forget your fingernails…a soft sensual scratching over a tender bottom can add a whole new dimension to the sensual spanking.
So don’t be afraid, once you’ve talked about spanking with your partner (consent counts!) take your next sexual opportunity to add some spicy spanking to your adult play time!