Psst ... You'll never find true love in there.
The dating world is rough! Is it any wonder so many women prefer to just stay home alone? Who wants to go on yet another disappointing Tinder date when you can just cozy up on the couch and binge watch a season of your favorite sitcom while binge eating some Ben & Jerry's?
But, with millions of emotional eaters, binge eaters, and yo-yo dieters struggling with their weight, this comforting habit is turning into a rather common problem. Far too many women If have turned their refrigerator into their boyfriend. Here are 5 tell-tale signs that you're looking to food to fill an emotional void:
1. You want it to give you pleasure
Millions of women struggle prefer a hot fudge sundae to "messy sex" any day. If you feel like this too, you’re not alone.
It’s not always about avoiding "messy sex" physically though, is it? More so, it’s about avoiding the messy emotions that come with having sex. When you don't know how to process your negative emotions (which get easily triggered when dating!) and you’re used to using food to self-soothe those negative feelings away, then it becomes quite easy to end up in a relationship with your refrigerator.
2. You turn to it for comfort
All week, you look forward to what food you're going to relax with over the weekend. Maybe you strive to "be good" with your eating during the week but the weekend is almost always an all-out food party.
You daydream during your week about what you’ll buy at the store or the drive through, or at your local take-out restaurant. Maybe you even get a movie to watch while you snuggle into your couch and binge on all of those "forbidden" foods, or comfort foods (I'm looking at you mac 'n cheese!).
3. It's your default "hangout buddy" when you're bored
Tuesday evening after work, nothing to do: hit the fridge. Saturday night, no one to hang with: hit the fridge. When there's nothing to do, you can always peek in the refrigerator one more time and see what's there.
The thing is, food only provides a very short-term solution for occupying your time. It's your way of avoiding sitting still with your Inner Self.
4. You use it to feel a sense of intimacy
Maybe you’ve heard this expression before: Intimacy = Into Me See. Instead of allowing a man to "see into you," you reserve your intimate moments for the food you eat. But, how can food, an inanimate object, experience true intimacy with you? How can food see into you?
I realize this may sound funny to even consider that you’re unconsciously seeking intimacy with food, but what's really happening is you're avoiding intimacy with yourself ... which leads to you avoiding intimacy with others ... which keeps you stuck in patterns of emotional eating, binge eating, and isolation (not fun!)
5. You trust food to always be there for you
If you're honest, notice that you often feel relieved when you're alone with your food instead of being out on a date. There’s so much pressure and anxiety involved with dating. People leave you, they don't call back, they sometimes say rude or uncomfortable things. You can't trust people. But, your refrigerator, on the other hand, will never leave you!
But though turning your refrigerator into your boyfriend keeps you temporarily safe from disappointments, rejection, and breakups, it won’t help you meet the man of your dreams. Additionally, it won't help you get (and keep!) the body of your dreams either.
While you do need food to fuel your healthy, human body, when you have an unhealthy relationship with food, that dysfunctional relationship stunts growth in all other areas in your life. And, it's not food's fault — food doesn't care! It's just food.
The good news is that once you heal the root of your binge eating behaviors, food addictions, emotional eating, or any other unhealthy behaviors that keeping you looking to your refrigerator as the primary relationship in life, then you position yourself to attract a wonderful man into your life as well as achieve lasting weight-loss.
It all begins with the relationship you cultivate with YOURSELF. And, a healthy relationship with yourself begins with healing your Inner Self.
Permanent weight loss coach JoLynn Braley is the founder of The Inner Self Diet, the proven, step-by-step coaching program that ends emotional eating, binge eating and yo-yo dieting. Click here to grab a Free copy of JoLynn's eBook and learn three Inner Self Tips to start making weight loss easy and fun from the inside out.