Would you run across a busy street without looking to see if there was any oncoming traffic? If you did, you might make it across but you must admit that it was just by luck. The more you continued to run across without looking the more you are increasing your chances of getting smashed by an oncoming car.
Well, ladies, when it comes to “Friends With Benefits” …it can be done. But the odds of doing it where no one gets “hurt” is similar to closing your eyes and running across the street.
More from YourTango: How To Identify A Cheater
What I am about to share with you might shock you considering I’m a guy. But if I didn’t admit this to you I wouldn’t be speaking my truth.
First of all, let me say I am not against FWB. I think if two adults can be honest with each other and admit that their arrangement is nothing more than “sex” it can be a very wonderful & very exhilarating experience. If we weren’t meant to have sex I don’t think we would have been given the wonderful parts to play with.
However, FWB often becomes a problem because sex is a very intimate act between a man & a woman and the more one exposes themselves to this kind of situation the easier it is for their emotions to get involved.
Those who have had successful FWB relationships admit that it was just “sex” and there wasn’t an emotional attachment on either side. However, many indifviuals admit that what started off as a good idea often becomes more complicated. The main reason for this is that someone usually winds up wanting “more”.
This is where the problems begin. It doesn’t matter what two individuals say going in, the fact that two people will be having sex and exposing themselves to each other often causes one of those individuals to start developing feelings and wanting more from the relationship.
Yes, sex is a physical desire that we all have but putting oneself in a physical relationship w/out the other aspects of a relationship being met is, in my opinion, setting yourself up for failure. Yes, It may be good for a little while, but it can’t and won’t last.
So, if you’re going into a FWB situation knowing that it’s a short term thing and both individuals are simply looking to have their needs met then I say, get naked, jump up on the pool table and have the best damn sex of your life.
If however, your goal is to really connect with someone both physically and emotionally do not put yourself in this situation, even if you think you can handle it. Because, just like crossing the street before you look, you will probably find out that it was the wrong decision.
More from YourTango: The Top 5 Places To Meet a Good Man
If you are currently single and you are having a difficult time finding the man and relationship you desire I would like to offer you free access to my 5 day mini e-course; The 5 Biggest Mistakes Women Make in Dating. You can get instant access at http://www.SmarterDatingForWomen.com
Joe Amoia, America's Premier Dating and Relationship Coach, is the president and founder of LifeSkilz, LLC and the creator of Smarter Dating For Women and Quantum Leap Ultimate Relationship Programs.