How To Be A Killer Wingman (Or Wingwoman)


How To Be A Killer Wingman (Or Wingwoman) [EXPERT]
Having a wingman makes flirting easier for everyone.
When it comes to meeting new people, sometimes we all need a little moral support.

This article was written by D.Fish, a contributer to the MingleAround website.

Okay, you got the call. It's the moment you've been training for. Your friend has asked you to be his wingman and yes, I said his wingman, because even though women have "wingwomen," it's a totally different ballgame.

More from YourTango: November Chicago Singles Events & Parties

If you're a woman who goes to a social gathering alone, guys will come up to you anyway. If you're a dude at the bar alone, unless you're Jon Hamm, you are viewed as the creepster who came alone and will go home alone.

Too often, being a wingman gets a bad reputation. You think that you'll have to confirm your friends b.s. story about how he's a pediatric surgeon and a millionaire software entrepreneur and how all his exes say he ruined them for other men, but the truth is much simpler: we all need help and support when we're trying to meet new people.

As the wingman (note: it's a non-gender specific title), there are two important duties that you will assist with. It doesn't matter if your buddy is looking for the love his life or the love of the next eight hours, you are there to facilitate two critical parts of "the dance."

1. The approach. It's hard to go up to someone you don't know and start a conversation with him/her. Think back to how tough it was talking to new people on the first day of school — and that's an environment where everyone shared a common background.

When you're at a bar, party, BBQ, air guitar championship or whatever, the stakes are a little higher. You don't want your friend to be viewed by the object of his attention as a strange loner who comes out of nowhere and starts talking to her.

Do you have to be like Barney in How I Met Your Mother? Not at all. Sometimes you'll be the one to start a conversation. Most often, you will simply back up your friend by providing moral support. Your strength comes from the fact that you aren't attached to the outcome, so even if you end up looking foolish, it's not a big deal.

More from YourTango: When To Sleep With Someone New For The First Time

I've tried many different ways to start a conversation with someone, and all of them work better if you have a friend with you, which brings us to your second important job as a "wing-person"...

More dating advice from YourTango Experts:

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official
Recent Expert Posts
Multi-Ethnic Senior Women In Swimming Pool

Make New Friends, Keep Good Friends

Once you have a clear idea of the kinds of friendships you would enjoy, you can decide to create mor

Cooking Together

6 More Eco-Conscious Ideas For A Better World And A Better You

Here are six tips on how you can have sex more consciously and also be kind to the environment.

Family With 2 Young Kids

What Wise Parents Know About Raising Successful Children

What are we teaching our children when we focus on their achievements rather than their kindness?

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>